


Stealing the Heart of Bridges

by mewsifer, SniperMoran



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Game Spoilers, Getting Together, Hot Springs, M/M, New Family, Not Canon Compliant, Some Humor, bath time!, these two are so soft okay thanks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 39,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22212466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mewsifer/pseuds/mewsifer, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SniperMoran/pseuds/SniperMoran
Summary: A get-together fic for Sam and HeartmanHot springs, bonding, friends to more than friends.Eventual angst.I'm not great at writing summaries for things!Written by myself and mewsifer in Telegram, and transferred here.
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges/Heartman
Comments: 9
Kudos: 43





	1. First Meeting and Hot Springs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is our first writing for the Death Stranding fandom, but it will not be the last!
> 
> So, hopefully you enjoy this Sam/Heartman little fluff fest
> 
> In this chapter, it's their first meeting!  
> There's lab time and hot springs time and time for goodbyes
> 
> Until next time!

The countdown echoed annoyingly in the padded space of Heartman's lab as it always did - ⅕ of his day was spent in a state of unconsciousness, and the other ⅘ were spent listening to that damned reminder of his limits.

...but he wasn't bitter, wasn't resentful. Not really, anyway. Or, he tried not to be. Bitter, resentful, it wouldn't do him any good anyhow. There was no stopping this, not for a long time, anyway.

So it was during one of his periods of consciousness that he was flipping through files that were being made accessible because of Sam.  
Sam Porter Bridges, out there making all sorts of things possible now, more accessible to someone like Heartman. Someone trapped in their own space with not much freedom to roam.

Last he heard, before his last Beach time, Sam was on his way this way, to his lab.

While he still had time to spare - 14 minutes - Heartman decided to call on Sam to see how things were going.

'Sam, it's Heartman. The area around my lab is treacherous. Be sure you're checking your weather radar to try to avoid BTs if possible. How are you coming along?'

Sam huffed, tired of these people always calling on him from whatever comfortable lab or office they were holed up in while he was out here up to his ass in snow, damn near white out conditions, with about 190 pounds strapped to his back with the fear of encountering BTs at any minute. He just wished he could have one day where he could leave his boots off and give him and the kid the rest they desperately needed. 

Instead, he decided to play nice. Heartman, despite monitoring his showering and bathroom times, was the reason he was able to defend himself against the BTs anyway. The guy at least deserved civility. 

"Well, it's looking like I'm coming up on you. Should be about 15 or 20 minutes out as long as I can keep going at this pace... and if I don't get turned around." He answered, yelling a bit to be heard over the sound of the wind. 

He really hoped there would at least be somewhere for him to warm his hands... and Lou's pod. He knew it wasn't possible, but he hated the idea that she was cold.

"Ah... that long..." Heartman murmured to himself, getting up from where he had been reading Bridges files to move around his space, setting a few things up and programming a few things.

'Right, well, I won't keep you long on the line, but I should let you know - just come in, when you get here. Sad to say, I won't be able to greet you. Not right away, anyway. But, come in and warm up by the fire until I can be with you. Safe travels, Sam.'

He knew the line was monitored, and that if Sam had questions when he arrived, Die-Hardman would certainly be there to provide answers. He had Sam's DNA entered into his security system so that he would be allowed entry, despite the lockdown.

_One minute remaining. Please hold on to something secure._

_Activating lab security measure._

Sam should nearly be here.

Heartman lay himself down on the chair and leaned back. With a calm breath, he closed his eyes and rested his hands on his chest.

5  
4  
3  
2

___________

Sam heard the beeping of the call ending, once again alone to the sound of wind and his own thoughts. It was moments like this where he realized how truly lonely this work was. 

Whatever though, all he needed was Lou and the people that kept them stocked up enough to keep them alive. A job was a job. Being a porter was not glamorous. Not like being whatever it was that these assholes were. In their safe cities, warm offices, comfortable beds, and fancy labs.

And man... that was possibly the nicest building he'd seen this side of the Stranding. It looked like a high end apartment you'd see in a movie. Something a villain would have lived in. He was starting to resent his current line of work, but where he stopped to catch his breath, he could see a way into the lab, getting closer and seeing that it had a door. An actual door! With an indoor terminal.

He was already beginning to like this Heartman guy. 

He made his way inside, checking with the terminal to make his delivery and connect the network. He didn't see why he couldn't lighten his load and leave some of his cargo by the terminal while he spoke with the man. The recorded message told him to _'proceed to the inner lab'_ which he did. He found the door along the glass lined walls, sliding open when he pressed his hand against the panel. 

Inside, it was comfortably warm, dimly lit, soft music playing and the sound of medical equipment. Around the alarming statues of BTs and other dead things, he made his way to the man laying surrounded by monitors. 

"Heartman?" He called out, cautiously stepping closer. He hesitantly reached out.

**Administering shock, please stand clear.**

Heartman jolted upright, nearly into the hand that was reaching for him. It took him a moment to catch his breath and gather himself before looking to Sam with a smile.

"Sam, it's good to see you," he said, offering out his hand for the other man to either shake or take to help him the rest of the way up, he wasn't picky. "Sorry about all this- when you said the amount of time it would take you to get here, I had to make some quick adjustments and judgement calls," he explained, tilting his head slightly to take in the sight of the other man.

He looked... well, like crap, really. He looked exhausted and frozen and like he could use a damn good meal and a nap. Deserved it, too. Maybe he would stay for a little while if Heartman offered...

Sam quickly pulled his hand away from the other man, afraid of the touch. "Sorry I... what was that? Were you dead? Are you a repatriate too?" He asked changing the subject and taking a few steps away from the other man. He feared he'd reach out again. 

He busied himself checking his pod and looking around a moment. The place was really nicer on the inside, especially now that he knew its occupant wasn't dead. At least not currently.

Despite Sam pulling away as if Heartman had shocked him, Heartman gave Sam a cheeky thumbs up before pushing himself up and out of his seat on his own.

"Technically? Yes, I was dead. My heart stops for 3 minutes every 21 minutes. But I'm not a repatriate like you, Sam. You're far more special than I," Heartman chuckled, gently patting the box strapped to his chest. "This is what brings me back from the Beach, where I spend a good chunk of my life. Or, death?" The man shrugged, moving about his space but not stepping too close to Sam again just yet.

"Feel free to sit, get comfortable. I'm sure after all that snow, you and your feet could use a bit of a break?"

Sam looked down at the couch before shifting awkwardly. He actually hadn't been offered a seat before. "I... I don't want to mess up the couch. I'm covered in ice and chiral matter. The damn BTs got a grab of me." 

He looked down at himself, seeing what a mess he really was. He must look like a disaster to outside eyes. 

"Every 21 minutes? You die?" He asked, trying to distract himself from how tired he felt now that it had been brought to his attention. Maybe he could rest a bit out in the hall by the terminal before having to go back out into the elements. 

But for now, he'd keep Heartman talking, or at least for the 21 minutes, to use up the warmth. And the company. It was a huge relief to see someone actually in person.

"Like clockwork. Could probably even set a clock to my heart," he laughed, shaking his head. "But, is an existence like mine really something you can call living? I'm basically already dead," Heartman smiled again, looking at the way Sam was eyeing the couch.

"Oh go ahead and sit, the couch can be cleaned," he added, another cheeky little thumbs up in Sam's direction. "....or do you have other jobs calling your name instead? I'd understand."

It wouldn't be the first time someone didn't want to stick around here because of the whole... dying, thing. Or because of how sarcastic and nonchalant Heartman was about it all.

Sam looked over his shoulder, eyeing the couch one last time before taking a seat with a heavy sigh. He rolled his neck, stretching and cracking his bones before relaxing. "This is way more comfortable that a Bridges issued bed." He cracked a smile, resting his hands over the BB pod. 

"How long have you been living with the cycles? That has to be a pain in the ass." He commented, watching Heartman now. It was nice to have someone consider his comfort over their own. Maybe this guy wasn't so bad, despite his swanky lab.

"9.97 year, so nearly a decade," Heartman replied, with another cheeky thumbs up. "I can't say it's easy, because then I would surely be lying to you, and you are no fool, but I also wouldn't say its necessarily a pain in my ass anymore. Padding helps," he teased gently, doing a slight bounce on the balls of his feet on the floor padding.

"I've got through 218,550 of these cycles. It's like breathing, to me. A part of my life - or death - so engrained that I can't imagine existing without it being this way."

_10 minutes until cardiac arrest._

"You're welcome to stay, as many cycles as you like, until other work requires your attention."

"What... happened?" He asked cautiously, afraid it would be like opening a jar of cyptobiotes. "That's a lot of time spent on the Beach. And then waking up alone after that? Do you have DOOMs to at least make it easier?" He asked, knowing it was a lot of questions. 

Maybe he'd been out on his own too long or the exhaustion was getting too him. Why did he care? He reasoned that answers were a good excuse to stay put for a little while.

"I have a rather... rare heart condition. At the time of the big void outs in this area, I was in the hospital in surgery. I died, for 21 minutes when the power went out and my life support shut off, but when the power surge returned, it kicked the defibrilator into action and brought me back," Heartman sighed, making his way back to his chair to get settled and comfortable. "While I was gone on the Beach, I saw all the people on that had been caught in the void outs, walking into the water, towards whatever was next... My wife and daughter were there," he cleared his throat, resting his hands on his chest.

_2 minutes to cardiac arrest. Please proceed to a safe location._

"I travel the Beaches to look for them, but I've yet to find them. It's... difficult to give up hope, though," he smiled a bit, giving another thumbs up. "Relax, or feel free to look around, Sam. I'll be back with you shortly."

3  
2  
1

__________

Sam watches him die, looking him over wondering if that was something he could get used to. 

After a moment he felt his eyes slip closed and before he realized, he was asleep, comfortable and warm with the weight of Lou's pod on his chest. 

For the first time in a long time he was in a deep sleep.

_Heartman's soul traveled between Beaches, looking for any sign of the family he knew he would not find here. They had moved on, into the water, a place he could not go. They had looked to him, seen him, and moved on without him._

_He stopped at a rather large Beach, devoid of any activity, and sat in the sand, watching the water ebb and flow from the shore._

**Administering shock, please stand clear.**

The charge brought him back again, and he instinctively reached for his hourglass to switch over the 21 minute timer.

"I do suffer from-" He paused, seeing Sam sound asleep on the couch. He smiled fondly, another thumbs up in the man's direction before he proceeded to move quietly around, getting some work done while he let Sam rest.

When Sam woke from his dream he startled, looking around in a shock. He reached one hand on the pod, the other reaching at his hip where he usually kept his gun. 

His eyes caught the other man, relaxing as he remembered where he was. He settled back in, taking a deep breath and calming his nerves. 

"Sorry... how long was I out?" He asked wondering what the timer was, how much time he had before Heartman was going back to the Beach.

"Two cycles," Heartman replied easily, turning from his computer screen to look at Sam with a smile, giving him another thumbs up. "You really needed the rest, it seemed, so I lowered the sound on my AED and the overhead alert system," he added, taking a chance to look the man over a moment.

"If you like, I do have a hot spring bath that you could use to wash off. No data collection, no audio pestering, just steam and hot water and the minerals and nutrients that come from hot springs water," he twirled around in his chair, glancing towards the hourglass that Sam had spied.

"Nearly pointless, as my body has developed a rather steady clock of it's own, but I nearly always remember to flip it. Chiral clock. Made it myself."

"You don't have a chiral allergy?" He asked, sitting up a little bit, his mouth dry and eyes a little itchy. He looked himself over again, knowing he looked like shit. 

"Might take you up on that bath. Is it outside? Thought I saw something, but thought maybe I was seeing things after so long in the snow." He breathed a laugh, slowly moving to his feet. He'd rested crouching, little afraid to put weight on his legs after being off them so long. 

"It was nice to sleep without being monitored or bled dry."

"Sorry about that. The monitoring, the bleeding you," Heartman smiled sheepishly and glanced towards his hourglass. "The chiral crystals in the hourglass are contained. Even you shouldn't have a negative reaction to it," he added, giving Sam a thumbs up.  
He made his way across the room to the door that Sam had come through.

"You passed by the spring on your way, yes. I... can't really join you. Unless you feel like keeping me afloat while you're trying to relax."

"I'm sure you don't want my company." Sam looked away from him. "I don't have to be any more of a bother. I'll go bathe and then take the order at the terminal and you won't even know I was here... aside from the mess on the couch." He shifted sheepishly, feeling a little uncomfortable. 

The company would be welcomed, he hadn't had anyone to talk to in months. Not that he was a particularly chatty person, but it was far better than being all alone.

Giving Sam a thumbs down, Heartman furrowed his brow. "Sam, you're not a bother to me, I'd be the bother to you, in this scenario," he chuckled, reaching his hand out to the other man.

The warning light flashed on his AED telling him quietly that he had 10 minutes until cardiac arrest.

"Be best to decide if you'll be taking on the burden that is me before I go out there, or you'll be stuck with me either way."

"Either way. It's only 3 minutes. But if you wanted to go with, you may want to get your full 21." Sam shrugged, looking him over. He might be able to handle the touch for a couple of minutes. 

"Lou can float in the pod, so I'm not worried about watching the both of you." He let himself smile, trying to put the other man at ease.

It had been a long time since he had been out to venture to the hot spring. The last time he had gone had been something of an awful mistake that he didn't dare try to repeat.

"Then, we'll need to wait. I've only got 5 minutes before I'm useless to you," he chuckled, making his way back down towards his chair. "Might as well settle in now and just be ready, then, don't you think?"

Having someone to physically be there and talk to... it was really nice, actually. Sam was good company, in Heartman's opinion. Then again, it seemed as though Lou would be good company too, to a man who lived isolated up on the mountain top.

"Unless you can move really quick." He smiled, getting himself and Lou situated so they could leave in a couple minutes. "I'll be here when you get back." He reassured, taking the pod off his chest to check on the baby better.

He was sure she had been so cold in there. She'd enjoy a dip in a hot spring.

Giving a secret little thumbs up again, Heartman let his eyes slip closed, taking one last calm breath before

3  
2  
1

_______

_Back to the Beach. That big and empty one he had left off his useless search. It was quiet here, calm, almost peaceful or serene, the way most people hoped the After would be. Most Beaches weren't this way - most held some resentment, anger, or regret and it showed in the landscape of their Beach. But this one... The waves were gentle, the breeze was a comfortable warmth. It had an almost familiar feel to it all..._

_~~'Sam! This is-'~~ _

**Administering shock, please stand back.**

Heartman bolted up this time, flipping his hourglass instinctively as he did so.

"Sam!"

Sam jumped at the shouting, instantly on his feet assuming the worst. He looked him over, checking the monitors for clues. "What!?" He asked, still feeling a bit shocked. 

He had no idea how to help if there was a problem and it was a long trek back to Mountain Knot for help if something was wrong.

"I was just- It was your Beach! I was just on your Beach!" He exclaimed, moving a bit more quickly than he ought to do, having just been brought back from death. He moved around to his computer screen, jotting a few things into some sort of journal he had been keeping of his cycles.

"It was so calm and so quiet... It was an actual beach. Amazing!" He turned and gave Sam a thumbs up. "Oh! We should go - best not to waste any time."

"You were on my Beach? How do you know it was mine?" He asked, watching the man bounce around with a sort of amusement. 

"Everyone's Beach isn't... a beach?" He asked, not sure if that was a stupid question. He was willingly following the other man now, letting him take him where they needed to go.

"Everyone's Beach feels different when you've traveled to as many of them as I have, Sam. There's always something about it that makes it very much as unique as the person to whom it belongs," Heartman made his way up the stairs and down the windowed hall back towards the terminal.

"Depending on how a person lives, their Beach can be drastically affected. For example, the place you go when you have been transported to that World War era? I believe that is Cliff Unger's Beach. He was a soldier - it's very likely it was a big part of his life, and therefore, a big part of his death."

He paused at the terminal, a look of worry crossing his features as he seemed to run his hands over himself. The little screen on his AED lit up with his countdown, still well within the upper teens.

"Your Beach being an actual beach... it's interesting. I wonder what it says about you..." He turned to Sam again, the worry vanishing in place of a smile.

"I must not be that creative." 

Sam watched Heartman check himself over, looking like he was a bit hesitant about going out. "You've had an accident before. When you've gone out, didn't you?" He asked, cautiously stepping closer. He tilted his head, watching the other man carefully, waiting to catch something instead of an answer.

He hesitated again, smile faltering slightly before he recovered, realizing Sam was watching him rather intently.  
"Yes, I have. But, this time is different. I'm traveling with someone. Specifically with you, Sam Porter Bridges, Legendary Courier," Heartman chuckled, flashing another thumbs up. "If anything should go wrong, we won't be far from my lab and with all you carry on a daily basis, I've a feeling you could easily lug me back this short distance."

It seemed he was saying all of this more for his own comfort than to confirm or deny anything for Sam. All the same, he took another deep breath before moving his way out the glass door.

"Beaches have nothing to do with the inhabitant's creativity. They design themselves based solely on the lives of the ones they are for. Your Beach chose to be a beach, to present as it is, simple as the name itself. Curious, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Nothing to worry about. It's just up the stairs there and I'm sure Lou weighs more than you do." Sam reassured, smiling down when the baby laughed, giving Heartman a thumbs up.

He laughed, bouncing the pod just a bit before following the other man out. "Maybe I'm just a simple man. My life consists of getting from point A to B. Nothing much more than that, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other." He shrugged, walking within arms distance to put the other man at ease. He could easily grab him if he fell now.

"Lou," Heartman repeated, a smile crinkling his eyes as he returned the thumbs up to the little BB in the pod. "You're rather attached, aren't you? Though, I imagine having a constant companion when you would otherwise be traveling alone would bring about a sort of bond that can't be replicated anywhere else..."

He'd forgotten how cold snow was, how cold mountain air could be against exposed skin. His breath showed on the air, and he could remember clearly the last time he experienced that natural phenomenon.

"Simple man, and yet you do such extraordinary things... You underestimate your worth, Sam."

Sam shook his head. "There's plenty of people who can do what I do. I'm just too stupid or hooked to say no I guess." He shrugged, sitting himself down next to the spring to take his boots off. 

"And I know I'm not supposed to get attached, but... I can't think of her as just a piece of equipment. She's more than that." He smiled, detaching the pod from his suit so he'd be able to take it off. "And when I thought... well... when I was going to be a dad I was so excited and then... she's more than just a tool. I carry her with me everywhere and it's because of her there isn't voidouts everywhere I go."

Heartman furrowed his brow, shaking his head. "You are so much more than you give yourself credit for, Sam..." he murmured softly, sitting beside the other man, careful not to encroach on his personal space here, where Sam could easily say fuck it and abandon him to the elements.

"Were I in your position and with a BB of my own, I don't think I would be able to see them as simple equipment, either... The one's that see them as mere equipment... are the one's who've never had little ones of their own, or never were even close to having such a joy in their life. Stolen from the womb, that little floaty creature is still a fetus. They are as alive as I am, if not more so, in your little Lou's case."

Removing his clothes carefully, Heartman slipped into the water, careful not to submerge his AED.

_5 minutes to Cardiac Arrest._

Sam frowned, watching the other man get in the water. He set Lou in the water, letting the pod float over to Heartman. He got himself undressed a little quicker, wanting to be able to help keep the other man's head and device out of the water. 

He tried to avoid the thought of being naked in front of someone. He knew how he looked, hand prints scarred into his skin. BTs and things from the Seam grabbing onto him, terrified him from being touched by the living. While they didn't leave a mark, it hurt just as much as if they had. 

"I never got the chance to be a father. She was 6 months when... when the void out happened. There was nothing I could do. Couldn't even burn their bodies, but I came back just fine. I couldn't have even done anything but I feel so guilty about just letting it happen. That's why I can't let it happen to Lou. She looks out for me, and we always come back together."

"I'm so sorry, Sam... You would have been-" he paused, looking to the giggling little Lou in the pod, heart bubbles floating inside. "You _are_ a wonderful father. I'm sorry you didn't get to be more of that before now," he amended, glancing from the little BB to the man undressing.

The hand prints that littered his skin, more or less burned into his flesh... Heartman had never seen anything like it. Others that had been touched by BTs and survived didn't have such a reaction, as far as he had been able to tell in what bits of research he had done and read.

He wanted to reach out, to run his fingers over the marks to see how they felt, if they held any residual chiral energy from the Beach and the Seam, if they were at all raised or in any other way differing from the rest of Sam's skin.  
...but he knew better. It wasn't exactly polite just to start touching another living person, poking and prodding them without their consent.

_2 minutes to Cardiac Arrest. Please proceed to a safe location._

"I never expected you to open up to me as you are, Sam. I really cherish this," he gave the man a thumbs up as he held onto the gently glowing BB pod.

Sam frowned, realizing that was what he was doing. He hadn't actually told anyone about his wife and son before. Sure Deadman had found out, used that information to hurt him and force him to carry on, but he'd never willingly told anyone. It felt good to get off his chest and to have someone who understood the experience of losing everything and still somehow coming back from it... well it felt good to have a connection. 

And company. 

And damn that water really did feel good after the cold air on his skin. He stepped in, carefully moving over to Heartman. "So what's the rule? Keep your head out of the water until you're resuscitated?" He asked, anxious about the possibility of having to touch him. He could already feel the burning tingle under his skin at just the though.

"My head, yes, but also my AED. Electric shocks and water aren't the most friendly of mixes, you know," Heartman chuckled, but there was something of a shaky worry in how he said that.

"If you can't do it, for whatever reason it may be, get yourself and Lou out of the water. The shock through the water won't do any lasting damage to me," he added, seeing the touches of anxiety in Sam's eyes as the space between them closed.

_Please ensure you are in a stable position._

"Should you be in the water then?" Sam asked nervously, hoping to get a quick answer. "Or should you be out at the 3 minute mark? I can easily get you out." He looked him over, knowing how the device worked. He could set the unit to the side as long as the wires were attached if he needed to. 

But was it really safe to do that? He made a decision to set Lou to the side out of the water. "Well, if you'll be fine, I'll always come back if I die. It's not fun, but it's not like it hurts to come back." He reassured, trying to set the other man at ease. 

He smiled at him when the countdown began, wondering if he was afraid anymore. Everytime it happened there was the possibility he wouldn't come back. Was that something that scared him anymore? Sure the thought of being alone, stranded on someone else's beach was probably terrifying, but at least these endless cycles would be over.

"Whichever you're more comfortable with, honestly. I'll be fine any way you decide to handle this. I trust you, Sam," he replied firmly, trying to get that across without using touch.

_One minute remaining. Please hold on to something secure. ___

__"I don't have to take you out with me, Sam."_ _

__

__Sam smiled at him, only the second time actually seeing it happen. He wasn't sure if he'd ever get used to seeing someone die. No matter how used to it they were._ _

__He waited until the other man was gone before carefully grabbing his shoulders, keeping him upright. He chewed his lip, unsure what to do just yet. He figured it wasn't safe to let him be in the water just yet. So when the device declared that there was one minute remaining on his trip to the other side, he lifted him up, sitting him outside of the water for when the shock would be administered._ _

__He covered him in a towel for modesty, in case that mattered to the man. He held his breath, counting the seconds until..._ _

__**Administering shock. Stand clear.** _ _

__

___Slipping back to Sam's Beach was like slipping to another home. He knew he couldn't stay here forever, though, but perhaps he could come back sometime._ _ _

___Moving on, he found a few other interesting Beaches, but no sign of his wife or child. It was probably best he give up the search, really. They had gone into the water, had moved on to the next plane of existence, surely._ _ _

___...but if he gave that up, then what did he-_ _ _

__Heartman woke with a gasp, reaching for his hourglass to flip, but instead finding his hand against the smooth pod that contained Lou. Blinking, remembering where he was, he sat up, looking around before letting his gaze fall on Sam._ _

__"Out of the water, then. Are you alright?"_ _

__

__Sam looked up at him, relieved to see him up and breathing again. Too still just a moment ago._ _

__He blinked at the question, only now realizing that when he'd moved Heartman, it didn't hurt. There was no pain, no burning or imagined bruising. It hadn't even been a thought._ _

__He squinted, deciding to keep that to himself for now. "Yeah, I'm fine. You?" He asked, grabbing Lou before stepping back and giving him space to slip back into the water. He set the pod back down, letting the baby float around again._ _

__

__"Oh yes, nothing out of the ordinary. I left your Beach and moved on to visit a few others," he replied, sitting himself down to get back into the water._ _

__"She really like the hot spring it seems, your little Lou. You both are welcome to come here any time, or visit me. Or... or well, both, of course."_ _

__

__Sam smiled, watching the other man settle in. "Gets lonely out here, doesn't it? Nothing but snow and the mountains." He sighed, looking around them. "At least I have Lou to talk to. You're out here on your own." He sighed, knowing how much that must hurt._ _

__He made a note to visit Heartman whenever he was in the area. Even if it was out of his way._ _

__

__"I keep busy, but yes, it doesn't quite make up for the human company," he replied, moving his AED so that he could sink a bit lower into the water._ _

__"I should really look into figuring out a way of protecting this from the water, so that I can enjoy this a bit more..." he murmured, leaning his head back a bit, his breath puffs of air on the chilly breeze beyond the warmth of the spring._ _

__"This has been nice, Sam. I hope you have gotten good rest out of this as well. I know you can't stay forever... more Knots to bridge together and all."_ _

__

__"Thank you for letting me stay. Usually I'm rushed out of the labs. I was starting to think I stink or something." Sam teased, looking him over with a smile. "Then again, at first opportunity you did suggest a bath." He pulled a face, looking him over with a playful shifty face._ _

__Lou laughed in her pod, moving so she could see Heartman better. "She likes you. You can hold her if you'd like. I know it's not the same as holding a live baby but... it's just as good when she smiles." He offered, pushing her closer to the other man._ _

__

__Heartman carefully pulled the pod closer, cradling the little creature to himself in the water._ _

__"I won't lie to you, you did stink, a little. But that tends to happen when you travel as much as you do, carrying the weight and the stress that you do," he paused, looking down at Lou and that slight disapproving look she was giving him. "Don't get me wrong however - I suggested the hot spring because of the benefits to your tired body, not necessarily for cleansing. You don't get enough food, rest, and relaxation for the amount of work that you do," he added, smiling when little Lou gave him a thumbs up, which he of course returned._ _

__"You've a lovely little lady on your hands here, Sam."_ _

__

__"It really doesn't help that the weapons I use are made of my waste. You really could work on the smell." Sam smirked, watching her interact with the other man._ _

__Usually when someone held Lou he felt anxious, sick to his stomach, afraid they'd do something to his precious BB. Take her away again. When Heartman held her and looked at her like that..._ _

__"Looks like we'll have to come back and visit. She doesn't take to too many people like that, probably a side affect of being connected to me so long. Doesn't trust anyone." He blinked a few times, looking her over._ _

__"I worry that when all this is over they won't let me keep her."_ _

__

__"You visit me for the first time, face-to-face, and now I have two big projects to work on to fill my time when you leave again," Heartman chuckled, gently rocking the little BB, looking to her rather fondly._ _

__"Oh, I see, so the test for if you would truly come back to visit me was how Lou reacted to me?" He teased, feeling so at ease with Sam, unlike when he would speak with Die-Hardman or even Deadman._ _

__...it was exactly those two that would possibly take Lou away from Sam after this was all over. Furrowing his brow, Heartman did a thumbs down, but neither to Lou or Sam, but more to Bridges in general._ _

__"I'll do whatever I can, Sam. Whatever I can to make sure they don't take her away. ...but I can't make you any promises until I have an actual plan, alright? I can promise, though, that I will work on a plan, I will work on the smell of your weapons, and I will work on waterproofing my AED."_ _

__

__Sam smiled, the feeling unusual on his face. "Work on the AED first. I'll be back; you might have spoiled me with shared bathing. I know I'll want this again the next time... or at least I'll bathe before coming in." He breathed a laugh again._ _

__"Speaking of, we should get you in. You've probably only got a little bit left before..." he was still uncomfortable about the situation. Too many variables in it, knowing his new, and possibly only friend, couldn't return if something happened._ _

__A horrible thing to be stranded on someone else's Beach. He knew the feeling._ _

__

__"It worries you, doesn't it?" Heartman asked outright, gently lowering Lou's pod into the water to push her towards Sam. "My dying and coming back? 60 deaths, 60 resuscitations each day. 218,555 cycles and counting," he added, keeping his voice level and calm._ _

___10 minutes until Cardiac Arrest._ _ _

__"I appreciate the worry, of course. I haven't had anyone to worry about me in a very long time. However, you can't get rid of me so easily," he smiled gently, carefully pushing himself from the water to dry off a little and pull clothes back on._ _

__He twisted his wrist and pulled up a digital keyboard, typing something up to send to his lab computer - a reminder of the projects he had for his time while Sam was gone._ _

__

__Sam frowned, watching Heartman. A body of a life lived in doors._ _

__He used to resent people like that. Hated that they could just sit inside and do nothing while the world fell apart around them._ _

__Now he wanted to protect that life style. Make it easier for Heartman and the people out there like him to continue living their lives the way they did. Make it a bit les lonely for them._ _

__"Its never easy watching a friend die." He looked away, getting himself up and getting dressed again. He got Lou all attached, settled in and rocked to sleep now that she was relaxed._ _

__

__Turning quickly towards Sam, Heartman couldn't help his grin, and the cheeky little thumbs up._ _

__"A friend, hm?" He hummed, wanting to gently elbow the other man, but refraining from doing so. "Well, I'd like to say that I'd keep from dying in front of you, but then our meetings would be extremely short, which would be quite a shame," he added quietly._ _

__"Let's head back before you have to carry me back," he added teasingly, starting the short trek back to his lab._ _

___2 minutes to Cardiac Arrest. Please proceed to a safe location._ _ _

__

__Sam hurried behind Heartman, only one boot tied, afraid to have him fall down the stairs. "You're not heavy you know." He teased, following him back._ _

__"I'll head out while you're out, but I'll be back eventually. Thank you, for being so good to me and Lou." He said, forcing himself to say what he felt. It would have to do as rushed good byes and thank yous._ _

__He'd be too tempted to stay if he waited for him to come back around. He'd probably still be at the terminal, but it would be easier to leave with an order under his belt and cargo strapped to his back._ _

__"I'd say that's surprising, but it's not as though I have time to eat big meals, and I do actually exercise occasionally," Heartman made his way as quickly as he could towards his lab, only just now making it to the stairs outside his door._ _

__"For the record, I'll be happy to have you and Lou return to visit me. This has been the most-"_ _

___One minute remaining. Please hold on to something secure._ _ _

__"-exciting time I've had in some time. So do feel free to come by any time."_ _

__

__Sam smiled, wanting to laugh at how much it felt like dropping a date off at home for the first time. Back when things were a little more normal._ _

__Nothing was normal anymore, so he may as well let himself feel that warm butterflies feeling._ _

__"I- We will. Promise." He agreed, letting himself smile again, feeling the most relaxed he had since before the last string of voidouts. He knew Heartman wouldn't make it to his chair, but he wouldn't wake up on the floor._ _

__

__He moved quickly up the stairs, past the terminal and just made it through the door to his lab before-_ _

__3  
2  
1_ _

________ _

___Waking up on the Beach again, Heartman sighed, knowing that when he woke, he would be alone again.  
Being alone had never bothered him before Sam. It gave him time to focus on his research and his general search. Now..._ _ _

___Traveling to another Beach, Heartman found himself in something of a rainforest. Trees taller than he could see the tops of and a gentle pitter pattering rain falling around him.  
Definitely a new one... interesting._ _ _

__

__Sam easily lifted Heartman, grabbing onto him before he could hit the floor. He laid him in his chair, getting him comfortably arranged before heading out and checking the terminal. He got everything he needed, supplies and the delivery, managing to get everything together within his 3 minute time span._ _

__He made his way out, dreading the trip more than he had any other before. And it wasn't due to the terrain, though the man had gifted him with a heating panel for his trip._ _

__His chat with Die-Hardman was what finally chilled the warm feeling in his chest, despite the freezing rain and snow up to his balls. He remembered he was just a tool to be used by Bridges. Just like his little BB. He wondered if they all felt like prisoners to Bridges._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how was it, for the first chapter?
> 
> I can't speak for my fellow writer mewsifer, but I just loved writing this stuff. Heartman is such a sweet softy, really, and he kind of brings the softness out of Sam.
> 
> More of that later!


	2. Meat and Potatoes Kind of Guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have no clue how anybody feels about the first chapter or if anyone has even read it yet, but! I wanted to keep on rolling and get this next part out. There won't really be a schedule for when these are put out, mostly just when I have time to take our writing from Telegram and put it here!
> 
> Also, I'd just like to say that my coauthor mewsifer is a great writing partner ♡
> 
> Enjoy!

**Administering shock, stand by.**

Heartman woke in his chair, not even an ounce of the soreness he was at least partially expecting. A smile touched his lips and he gave a thumbs up for Sam, despite his not being here.

'Sam, this is Heartman. Sorry to interrupt your travels, I just wanted to thank you for delivering me - see what I did there? - safely to my chair. The cargo you're carrying now needs to get to my fellow Stranding researchers. You'll be heading through MULE territory, so be careful and be safe. Heartman out.'

Sam smiled at the sound of the other man's voice. He wondered if this was the feeling he was bringing to other people. The knowledge that they weren't alone in the wilderness, helplessly wandering around. 

Connections. Strands. 

He was being ridiculous. The chiral materials must be going to his head. He was probably getting the sickness the other porters got. 

He huffed, continuing on to his next delivery. Getting the network online so Heartman and his researcher friends could work together easier without having to rely on other porters. 

Once he'd gotten the last prepper online, he felt like he could sleep for a week. It was possibly one of the longest deliveries he'd ever made. Traveling through MULE territory with an antimatter bomb strapped to his back wasn't his favorite thing, but it was over. 

He could find a safehouse or a time shelter and rest before heading back to Mountain Knot to sleep in a bed and eat something for the first time in days that wasn't a cryptobiote.

With the others now connected to the chiral network, Heartman's research was that much easier to share and further develop, all while also working on his side projects of his own.

Waterproofing his AED wasn't super difficult, and only took about 4 cycles to figure out and 4 more to implement.  
Making Sam's weapons smell less like what they were? That... was proving to be somewhat difficult.

By the time Sam finished all of the connections however, and Heartman had taken some input from others on the network, he had come up with a prototype.

'Sam, it's Heartman. Thank you for getting all of the others onto the network so efficiently. I hope it wasn't too much trouble for you. With your help and all the work you have done, we are another step closer to figuring out this spike of chiral energy. That aside, as soon as you can get back to a safehouse, I need to collect some samples from you so I can send you the prototype for the improvement on your weapons. I imagine you could also use a good rest, though, so take your time, there's no rush on this one.'

"If you're up for the company, I have to pass your lab to get to a safe house or distro center." Sam answered, taking a breather in a cave he'd found, a little afraid to get snowed in. 

"I could meet you there, and I know Lou could use the rest. I promise to bathe and change before coming inside this time." He hummed pleasantly at the thought of having company again. Even if it meant taking samples and collections or whatever horrible things they had to discuss. 

"I can be there in about 2 hours by the looks of the map if I cut through the mountains."

'You don't have to do all that before coming in, Sam, but I will gladly accept your offer of company if I'm not too out of your way. Be careful though, there are spikes in the chiral matter happening more and more, it's making the weather a bit unstable. Keep an eye on your radar so you can avoid BTs as much as possible. ..or head straight into them, if that's what you prefer. Either way, please just be careful. I have to let you go-  
 _One minute remaining. Please hold on to something secure.  
Activating lab security measures._  
-in both senses of that sentiment. I'll see you in roundabouts 2 hours. Heartman out.'

Sam looked at the weather pattern on his map. Didn't look like he'd be able to avoid it or wait it out. White out conditions again. 

He mapped the trip, knowing he'd be able to watch for the lights of Heartman's lab to lead the way. He was able to get there in about 2 and a half hours after encountering a few BTs, but nothing bad. He got to the lab, quickly bathing and changing before heading inside. 

"Heartman? Are you here?" He asked carefully

Heartman's room was dimmed, the large windows blacked out with a timer displayed across it, reading out 2.10 minutes and counting downwards.  
The man in question was collapsed on the padded floor on one end of the room, a few books open beside him with some screen open in the air as well, waiting for an input that wasn't going to come for at least another 2 minutes.

_Somewhere on some other person's Beach, Heartman was pacing and trying to piece a few equations together in his head to translate once he was back to his lab._

_Something big was happening, something big was coming, and maybe it was Higgs pulling the strings, or maybe... maybe it was something else. Someone else..._

**Administering shock, please stand by.**

Sam had adjusted Heartman so he wouldn't wake up at such a terrible angle. He sat himself on the floor across from the other man, watching the count down as he warmed Lou's pod. 

The little one seemed to recognize where they were, giving little thumbs up and then watching the other man expectantly.

With a gasp, Heartman sat up quickly, automatically flicking his wrist to open that keyboard of his, typing out a few things on one hand before flicking open the other side and typing out something else.

"Oh! Sam! Sorry about that- and little Lou," Heartman grinned, giving them both a thumbs up. "I've been spending my time on the Beach to go through equations that have been stumping me... But you don't want to hear about all that- How was the trip? Did you get pestered by BTs?"

Sam smiled, watching Heartman jump right back into working now that he was back to life. For a man who spent so much of his time dead, he was so full of life. Enjoyed filling his time with it all. 

"Trip was fine. Encountered a few BTs. Weren't any problem though." He hummed, making himself comfortable, setting the pod to the side so Lou could see them both. 

"I'll listen about your work if you want to talk about it. Might help you make sense of it and I might be able to get a nap in." He teased lightly. He wasn't entirely stupid, but he knew he was more brawn than brain. He'd leave all that to his betters, like the man across from him.

Adjusting his glasses, Heartman rolled his eyes as he scoffed lightly. "Very well then, I'll talk you to sleep, shall I?" He hummed before delving into just what he was recording from the weather and other sources about the increase in chiral matter not only in the area but spreading across the whole country.

"We knew some of this would happen when we expanded the chiral network- it was to be expected, adding all these depo and Knot cities into the mix, but... this is much more than we originally had mapped out..."

He had gotten up and started pacing a bit at this point, pulling up a few things on the darkened windows that he used as an extra screen.

"If we continue on this way... more of those storms will spread, and who knows what could happen then... but if we stop..." he sighed, running a hand over his face.

"What happens if we stop?" Sam asked curiously, listening intently even as he lay back on the floor with his eyed closed. He opened his eyes, sitting up again to look at whatever the other man was working on.

"If we stop, it won't matter. The damage is already done. We can't take chiral matter back out of the system when we have already put it all out there... and if we even tried to take it back, it would plunge so many people back into their dark age... We can't do that after bringing everyone together. To give them hope, and people to talk to, and then tear them away back to being alone..."

If the chiral network was broken, he would be alone again, isolated up on this mountain of his, with nothing but his books and music and movies to keep him company. He couldn't go back to that...

Sam watched the other man, seeing that fear of being alone again. Trapped up here on the mountains. 

"Then we keep pushing on. Connecting more people and all the way to West Knot. We finish it. If it all goes to shit, well then at least we didn't give up. We tried to do something." He shrugged, knowing he had to be calm here. Because what else could he do?

One foot in front of the other. 

"We can't isolate people again but we can ask them to limit their use of the network at least until we get it all sorted out."

The suggestion seemed to spark something in Heartman who nodded, and quickly went about typing something and swiping it to send it along.

"Excellent idea, and I've just shared it with those that are currently connected to the network. To limit their usage of the network for the time being until we can figure out what's causing the super cells, figure how to stop them..." he sighed, flopping back on the soft floor with his arms spread wide.

"...in other news, I've waterproofed my AED and I have a prototype of a less smelly version of your current weapons... "

Sam laughed rolling on his side to see Heartman better. "I hate to tell you this, especially now that you've actually gone and spent the time... I stopped using the ex. grenades since you developed the hematic ones." He admitted sheepishly. 

"They had a toilet smell and I couldn't stand them... gave them to other porters though. So they're still being used."

The man huffed, throwing a look towards Sam. "Argh, really! ...well, I guess I can send the schematics along for other porters to make them, then..." he grumbled, sprawling out even more, lifting his limbs and then letting them fall again.

"I could always work on synthesizing your blood so that you don't have to lose as much to use the hematic grenades..." he murmured.

"Might be useful to others if you did. Maybe then Bridges wouldn't have to bleed me so much." He shrugged, kicking his boots off. "It's not easy walking around with government induced anemia. And being their prized pig you think they'd feed me a little better." He teased, digging into his pouch and pulling out a cryptobiote, letting it float around a moment before eating it. "Care to try one?" He offered, holding another out. 

"Good for getting your levels back, taste like shit and feels terrible in your mouth."

Heartman made a bit of a face, like the first time Fragile offered one of those things to Sam.  
"I... think I'll pass, thank you. I could offer you actual sustenance instead, you know. I have the capability to make food here," he replied, pushing himself up on his elbows.

_10 minutes until cardiac arrest._

"I may not be the government, but I can certainly step in where they are lacking."

He looked up at the other man with a goofy smile. "You'd actually feed me? I know it's not easy to get deliveries out here, but you'd actually share?" He asked, a little shocked at the offer.

"You certainly aren't the government. And you might work for Bridges, but you're not one of them."

He looked up at the other man with a goofy smile. "You'd actually feed me? I know it's not easy to get deliveries out here, but you'd actually share?" He asked, a little shocked at the offer.

"You certainly aren't the government. And you might work for Bridges, but you're not one of them."

"Well, I know this really great delivery guy that might actually be able to bring me more complete orders than what I've gotten in the past, so I'm certainly willing to share with that in mind," he replied teasingly, pushing himself up to stand, brushing himself off.

"What are you in the mood for, Sam?" He asked, offering the other man his hand out of habit before realizing.  
"Sorry- I think you might have backwards complimented me? Saying I'm not government and I'm part of Bridges but not one of them?"

Sam decided to push his luck, reaching out and taking Heartman's hand, letting him pull him up quickly. "I meant it as a compliment. Even if you listen to me shower." He teased lightly, picking up Lou's pod again. 

"What do you like? I haven't had a real meal since my first week at Bridges. I'm afraid I might not remember table manners."

For the first time in some time, Heartman felt warmth in his cheeks, and damn his heart monitor for being a constant companion as the little blips seemed to quicken for a few moments there.

Clearing his throat, he quickly led the way to an off branching room that held his bathroom, his lounge space and his kitchen.

"I'm particularly fond of potatoes and red meats. But I also have simple things like rice and ramen."

"I think I could appreciate a meat and potatoes kind of guy. If you don't mind sharing." He teased lightly, feeling weird to ask for anything. "Whatever you're willing to part with. But I will come back with a supply and I do know how to get my hands on wine and beer." He offered, looking around a bit more. 

It was clear this wasn't where he spent a majority of his time. Only the necessities through here. Though it was still well furnished and looked quite comfortable, it lacked the warmth the other room held.

"I have to be a bit more careful in here, which isn't my forte," Heartman explained, seeing Sam taking in his surroundings and knowing he must be noticing they never really spent time in here.

_2 minutes to Cardiac Arrest. Please proceed to a safe location._

With a groan, Heartman sat himself down in one of the kitchen chairs.

"Dig through the cabinets while I'm out and find what you'd like. I'll cook when I'm back, alright?"

Sam nodded watching him sit down, listened to the count down, holding his breath again, watching him slump and die. He forced himself to turn and look through the cabinets, setting Lou on the table to keep an eye on Heartman. 

He managed to take out the supplies the other man would need to cook for the both of them. Pots, pans, produce, and honest to god butter.

He set everything up listening to the countdown again. Turning to watch him come back to life.

_Sam's Beach again, finally. The peace and calm of it was recognizable almost instantly. There was no where else quite like it in all of the places Heartman had visited. But... something was different this time. This time, the water was agitated and there were dead sealife littering the shore. With furrowed brow, Heartman ventured closer to observe the creatures, but was stopped by a different force that felt nearly as familiar as Sam's._

_Amelie?_

**Administering shock, please stand by.**

Heartman jolted back, breath pushing into his lungs as he sat up, blinking away the tears from his eyes.

For some reason... he couldn't remember his time on the Beach, at all.

"Odd..." he murmured as he typed his entry out. "Did anything out of the ordinary happen while I was out, Sam?"

"No. Not that I noticed.. you're crying. Are you alright?" Sam asked, carefully stepping closer. "What happened?" He wanted to reach out, to comfort. A response he hadn't felt in years. Instead he sat down to look at him better.

"That's just it... I can't remember a thing. I don't even know which Beach I was on, let alone what happened while I was there. I remember sitting and getting ready for cardiac arrest and then...now," he furrowed his brow, wiping at his eyes curiously.  
"Odd..." he repeated quietly, brows still furrowed as he pushed himself from the chair to move around the kitchen area.

"Thank you for getting everything out."

Sam watched him move around the kitchen, going a little dumb. "Should you be up and moving? You should be resting after that, no?" He asked, not sure if he should stop him or not. 

The man did have to eat too. And it was safe that he was here to watch over him. He'd be doing this if he weren't here anyway. That caused him to worry too. 

"21 minutes really isnt much time to do anything, is it?"

"Time enough to do what needs done, but not much time to do much extra," he replied absently, getting started on cooking despite still looking lost in thought.  
Or just lost, in general.

"I've never not known at least something of my time on the Beach... I've never just completely lost the whole time..." he muttered, agitated in the way he mashed up some potatoes.

Sam watched him nervously. "Maybe I could try to go with you next time? Or if it happens again." He suggested. "Maybe if we die at exactly the same moment we'll beach together." He worried over what lost time could mean on the other side. Was there a chance that Heartman had been so many times that he could be losing his soul?

"I'm not sure it works that way, and even if it did, if I end up on a different Beach, you died for nothing. You can't move between Beaches on your own," he replied, shaking his head, pausing in his smashing of the potatoes. "It's fine... I'm sure it's fine. Maybe it was... maybe I found Higgs, or something, or...I don't know..."

For once, Heartman actually remained worried, despite trying not to show it in front of Sam. He had no idea what this could mean; it had never happened before.

Sam held his breath, looking him over. "We're coming up to the end of all this, aren't we? The EE and all that..." he chewed his lip, anxiously reaching for Lou, bouncing her to relax himself. 

"You know... people born with DOOMs have these nightmares. Some people think we can see the future or the past or possibilities of both... I haven't been having nightmares. I haven't been having dreams. I figured it was just fatigue or that I wasn't resting properly, but that's never stopped it before."

Heartman paused, blinking down into the pot of the mashed potatoes. "What happens when we reach the end... is this the last one? And if it's not, what determines who will carry on? DOOMS?" He clutched the counter to try to hide that he was shaking slightly, trembling.

He knew something big was coming, knew this wasn't going to be easy... but now it was actually real, and starting right before him and he had no idea what to do.

Sam forced himself to smile. "I wish I had the answers for you. But I have no idea, I'm just the porter. I never thought about the future. Like I've said, one day at a time. This might not be something we can plan for. Despite all of it, the network and all our advancements, we could be just as in the dark as before." He sighed knowing that was not at all what Heartman wanted or needed to hear. 

"But we have something we didn't have before. We all have each other. We can look out for each other. We have what we know of the past. And all we have to do is make it until tomorrow." He looked between Heartman and Lou. "We have plenty enough reason to try and fight. No more giving up and hunkering away. I know it's no consolation, but we'll figure it out. Even if it's by the seat of our pants."

The man blinked, nodding a bit before returning quietly to his cooking for the pair of them. It was obvious that he was thinking about what Sam was saying, digesting it slowly.

"I suppose I should start adopting your practice of one day at a time, at least until the big stuff is past us. Look a little into the future to try to plan, but not put my plans into any sort of stone. One cycles at a time," he murmured, letting their food cook as he turned back towards Sam and Lou.

_5 minutes until cardiac arrest._

He nodded, giving the other man a reassuring nod. "Come sit down. I'm useless in a domestic setting, but not clueless. You've done the hard work. I'll take it from here." He forced a smile, making himself lightly change the subject. 

He knew what losing time on the beach meant to Heartman. If he couldn't remember, he wouldn't remember if he found his wife and child. It would be a worthless trip. Death without a meaning. 

Best not to think on that for right now.

Heartman sighed, feeling frustrated with his cycles for the first time in a rather long time. For the first time since it all started, the 21 minutes where he was awake, here in this world, were the more important moments. Spending time with someone other than himself and his computers, someone other than fictional book or movie characters, someone other than the haunting memories of his wife and daughter.

He didn't protest further towards Sam, though, making his way over to where Lou was set down, he carefully scooped up her pod, rocking her in his arms to have something to do.

"I'm sorry, Sam. It was easier when I didn't have to share the burden of strange self discoveries like this, but... I feel that you've allowed me a bit of selfishness, and I wouldn't want to go back to doing this on my own forever."

"Selfishness?" Sam asked, turning to look at Heartman. He busied himself with stirring a pot, unsure what he could mean. 

But he did understand not wanting to be alone anymore. Wanting to have someone who knew who you were and didn't mind, wanted you around anyway. The company. 

He'd only died a couple of times, he couldn't imagine the toll that left on Heartman.

"Mm... you let me talk, even when it's not something you fully understand or even care to hear about. But you listen, actively, because you always ask questions. Questions I would never think to ask myself so you help me, unwittingly, to piece together things I possibly would not have before, when I was here on my own jabbering to myself and my computer," he explained, setting Lou aside again so she wouldn't be disturbed or dropped when he went.

One minute remaining. Please hold on to something secure.

"I cherish the time when you are here, Sam."

5  
4  
3  
2  
1

_________

The words rang through Sam's head. Trying to parse what they could mean. Was Heartman just desperately lonely or did he really enjoy his company? 

Maybe a mix of both. 

And why did his words weigh so heavy in his heart but feel so light at the same time? Why was he so warm all of a sudden?

He made the most of his three minutes, finishing up their meal and getting it plated. Getting them drinks and setting the table.

As good as it smelt he waited for Heartman to come back before starting.

_Once again on Sam's Beach.  
Once again?  
Was this where he was last time?  
What happened here?_

_Sam's Beach, once a peaceful and quietly calm place was whipping with strong winds and cries from distant creatures. Sealife was washed up on the shore, dead and decaying.  
Something was wrong, something terribly wrong._

_'Heartman.'  
The man turned, eyes widening when he saw her._

_'Amelie... what is all of-'_

**Administering shock, please stand by.**

"No wait!"  
Heartman sat upright, hand outstretched across the table, reaching towards Amelie. _Wait, Amelie? Amelie was there? Reaching towards-_

"Sam."

Sam jumped up, moving to his side, letting himself be reached for. "I'm here. What happened?" He asked, looking him over. He could see the fear and confusion in his eyes. 

He could feel his own eyes water in response. "You're safe now. I'm here." He reassured turning toward the sound of Lou crying only for a moment. Heartman had his full attention.

"I...I think Amelie was there. On your Beach?" Heartman murmured, wiping at his eyes, the confusion staying. "Sam... something is wrong... Something bad is happening. I can't remember what I saw but... but I can remember what I feel."

He swallowed heavily, looking up to the other man, seeing the concern in his face.

"We should eat."

He nodded, sitting down and watching Heartman again. Might as well eat. If things were about to get messed up, he'd need the strength and having one last meal never hurt. And this was amazing.

"You must have made a great husband. This is delicious!" He praised, pacing himself, remembering to chew and not just shovel it down his throat. 

Little Lou watched with interest, never having seen anyone eat before.

Heartman breathed a laugh, his cheeks warming. "I'm glad you enjoy it. Might be a while before I can make good food for you again," he murmured softly, eating a bit slowly.

"Sam... whatever happens out there, once you leave here, because you have to. You always have to..." he breathed another laugh. "Whatever happens, please be careful. As careful as you can. Let me make you some extra weapons and the like before you leave. I'll even try out the synthetic stuff that I made, just as extra..."

Sam could see the anxiousness in his face. Something was wrong and Heartman didn't know how to express it. 

"They'll send me the orders in the morning. We can fill up blood bags and bleed me until I can't give anymore. I'll leave here stocked up and ready to encounter anything." He reassured, trying to put on the air of confidence. Heartman didn't need him here to be a nervous wreck. He needed a solid foundation. 

Someone to put his faith in. 

"Whatever you give me, I'm confident will work. I'll stock up on guns and grenades before I go. Fill my pockets with the cryptobiotes. And when I come back, you'll owe me a bath."

Another breathy laugh and Heartman's shoulders relaxed somewhat, some of the built up tension fading as he nodded. "I can certainly do that. Would be a shame to have waterproofed my AED and never get to use it," he hummed softly, finishing his food.

"You should also get a good night of rest, if they'll let you have that. But these catastrophic events don't usually fit themselves into people's schedules," he tried to be playful with his words, but there was still that touch of anxiety to it.  
Rubbing the bridge of his nose between forefinger and thumb, he sighed.

"I'm sorry... If I could remember what I saw, remember it to say it out loud, to share it, maybe I wouldn't be such a damn mess right now. I could be..." he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, holding it a moment before releasing it slowly.

"I just need to focus. Something to do. Fabricating weapons and implementing my new designs for you will give me that."

"For now, eat with me. You might be the last friendly face I see in person in a while. Let's enjoy what we can." Sam reached out, patting Heartman's hand, wanting that connection again. He knew this could be the end. The last person he gets to touch. He was glad he was spending his possible final days with someone he liked. 

"You're the master of getting a lot done in a short period of time. I trust you to get me taken care of before they send the order through the terminal."

The touch brought a much more genuine smile out of the man, and even one of his classic thumbs up.

"I always do try my very best when it comes to things for you, Sam. You're our guy out there in the field, and I'm the guy making the stuff for you, so..."

He took a little bit more and finished it just before his warning let him know he only had 2 minutes left before cardiac arrest.

"Leave the dishes, I'll do them after you leave later."

He nodded in agreement, deciding that was a good idea for now. "Let's get you settled into your chair. I'll come back and bring Lou in the other room while you're out." He stood, offering his hand to Heartman.

He could practically smell the fear on the other man. Dying and going into something that had terrified him the last 2 times he'd gone to the beach. And these was no escaping it. 

"She and I will wait for you to come back and then we can get to work."

He took a deep breath again before taking Sam's hand, nodding. "Thank you, Sam. In all my years of going through these cycles, I've never been worried, never been afraid..." he laughed sheepishly, shaking his head. "But now... now I'm actually a bit afraid," he admitted quietly as they walked together back to his lab where he could lay down in his chair.

"I'm sorry, Sam, but thank you for all of this."

Sam smiled softly at him, something warm in his chest. "I'll be here when you get back. I promise." He reassured, holding Heartman's hand through the countdown. 

Once cardiac arrest had been announced and he went still, he let go. Going to grab Lou and bring her in. 

He decided to take off his cufflinks, setting them on Heartman's desk. It would give him a little privacy and keep Deadman from interrupting and asking why his blood levels kept going so low. 

He settled Lou back on the couch, sitting opposite of her and just listened to the music play while Heartman was out. He waited, watching the hourglass for him to come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Ending on a kind of cliffhanger?
> 
> Never fear! The next chapter will be here! Though it may be a bit shorter...


	3. Blood Bags, Falling Hard and Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Beach time fun with Heartman (and guest ♡), also some bloodbag bonding between the boys (including a slight playful misunderstanding), more grubs and tons of flirting
> 
> and then fond farewells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaaaaat! Another chapter?!  
> Yes.  
> I can't help myself and I have only some regrets, and none of those regrets are this story (or the other 2 mewsifer and I are working on!)

_'Heartman, you have to tell Sam. Tell Sam I'm waiting for him, here. He needs to find me,' Amelie called, walking like a wispy memory towards him as soon as he woke on the Beach. Yet again, Sam's Beach._

_'I can't. I can't tell him- when I wake up, I can't even remember this place. Not like it is now. Amelie- Amelie, what's happening here? Why is everything... dying?'_

_Something in Heartman's brain started to click, something piecing together and Amelie smiled softly, putting a finger to her lips._

_'Shhh....'_

_She reached out, just as the old woman had all those years ago and touched where his heart was._

_'Wait-!'_

**Administering shock, please stand by.**

Heartman sat up quickly, sucking in a breath, tears dripping down his cheeks.

Sam froze, watching Heartman, tears streaming down his cheeks. "What was it this time? Do you remember? Are you..." he asked, knowing how exhausting hearing all those questions must be. 

He wasn't sure if he should go to him or let him process it. He wanted to hold him, to stop whatever pain he could and rock him back to calm, just like he did for Lou.

"Amelie," he breathed, closing his eyes. "Amelie is waiting for you on your Beach. She's trapped there and..." he opened his eyes, tears still slipping down his cheeks. "Sam, everything is dying. The extinction is already happening on your Beach..." he breathed, his heart monitor showing that his heart rate picked up a little.

"We have to get to work," he added, flicking his wrist to type out a few things in his two separate journals before opening the schematics for the synthetic hematic grenades on his big screen.

"Will you help me set up a blood bag? I can't stand doing the needles myself." Sam frowned, sitting up a little better. 

He took his jumpsuit off, leaving himself in the Bridges standard clothes which he'd taken to considering his underwear. 

"I know Amelie and I are connected, she's my sister. But why would she be on my Beach? What does any of that mean? Can Higgs travel Beaches too? We know Fragile can, and you can. So its possible, right? Maybe he's just playing with me?"

Disgesting everything still in silence, Heartman got the materials he needed and put his hands up as he approached Sam, being careful to only touch him as needed as he set up the blood bag.

"I don't know why she was there, I just know that she was... She spoke to me, and told me that she was waiting for you..." he sighed, rubbing at his eyes under his glasses. "It's likely, with what you and Fragile have reported back about Higgs and his capabilities... it's possible that he can, indeed, jump Beaches as well. He may have brought Amelie to your Beach, but there was no sign of him while I was there. Just Amelie. Just... all the dead things."

"I'll take care of it. Once step at a time, we'll figure out what it means when we get there, ok?" Sam frowned, still wanting to hold Heartman close. He could still see the tears in his eyes, watching them fall down his face in intervals. 

"Will you sit with me? I know you have to work but... I'm going to be alone again once I leave until it's all over." He asked hopefully, desperate for some form of intimacy again. He blamed it on proximity and porter sickness. Definitely not that his heart pounded when the other man's fingers touched his skin without searing pain or his stomach lurching. "Remind me what I'm fighting for. The reason to come back and all that."

Heartman breathed another soft laugh but nodded, smiling as he sat beside Sam. "I can do my work from here, sitting beside you," he replied gently, carefully patting Sam's knee. "You have to come back, no matter what. I owe you dinner and a bath," he added with a slight squeeze to the man's knee before moving his hand away. With a flick of his wrist, he opened up the screens he needed onto the darkened expansive window.

"If you start to feel light headed, please tell me right away. I don't want to literally drain you. It takes a bit of time to recover from blood draws," he murmured, "But I am also going to be synthesizing your blood, so I won't need all of it..."

His mind was racing, thinking of all of the differing branching scenarios, and the things he could make in the small amount of time they had to keep Sam safe and ready for anything.

"Good thing I brought snacks." He teased, shaking his jar of cryptobiotes in front if Heartman. "I have enough to share if you change your mind." He laughed, knowing they were generally disgusting. 

He leaned back on the couch, closing his eyes. "Let me know when you attach the third bag. That's about when I should have one of my little friends." He sighed, relaxing back and resting his arm along the back of the couch behind Heartman's head. "I can carry about 10 bags with me, so I won't worry about bleeding out."

Heartman scrunched his face a bit, shaking his head. "I will never agree to wanting those, thank you," he chuckled, hooking himself up to a blood bag as well, so he could make the synthetic of Sam's.

"But I might very well need to make us some more food, at this rate..." he murmured, typing out a few things and moving pieces together with gestures of his hands.

"Nothing complicated. And don't push yourself too hard." Sam sighed, resting his head back and watching Heartman. 

In this light and at this angle, despite the fear and exhaustion on his face, Heartman was a handsome man. He'd thought that when he'd first seen him, always taking notice to the way people presented. He wondered what kept him presenting so well. Nicely dressed, clean, groomed, put together. Was it habit or a distraction?

Either way, Sam was happy for his benefit. He sat back, just watching him work as he drifted in and out of a light sleep.

**10 minutes until Car-**

Heartman swiped the reminder away with a huff of annoyance, currently laser focused on getting the pieces of the DNA to fuse together in a way that resembled Sam's. He already had the blueprint made up for the grenade itself, practically identical to the first version he had made.

"Going to mute you," he muttered to his AED, glancing to Sam and Lou a moment, changing Sam's and his own blood bag.

Gently, he shook the man's knee. "Sam, eat one of your friends."

Blame it on blood loss, sleep brain, or exhaustion but Sam giggled, well as close as it anyway, at the words. "You're my only friend. You want me to eat you?" He hummed, finger tips brushing the back of Heartman's neck. 

He let himself laugh groggily on amusement as he reached for one of the little creatures, holding one to Heartman's lips. "Come on, one for me. Get your energy back."

The monitor for Heartman's heart sounded a non-emergency alarm for his quickened heart rate, his breath catching at the tingling feeling of Sam's fingers against his neck, added to his teasing words.

When the wriggling creature was brought to his lips, he turned his gaze towards Sam, scrunching his nose.

"...for you, because it's you," he muttered, parting his lips so the creature could be put in his mouth.

His cheeks were warm, despite the blood loss, as he crunched on the awfully disgusting thing. He was _so_ glad he didn't have to rely on those things on a more regular basis.

Sam laughed at the face, popping one into his own mouth. "Do you remember those chips the puffy cheese ones you could get before the stranding? That's what they kind of remind me of." He smirked, listening to the little gag the other man gave. 

"Horrible, right?" He hummed, leaning his head back and watching him again. "How's your work coming along?"

"Oh- ugh- that just made it worse, thanks," he grumbled, making another face as he attempted to control his breathing and settle his heart - and now his stomach.

"It's going well; I've just got to puzzle together these DNA strands so that it mimics your blood closely enough that it will affect the BTs. It won't be as strong of an affect as the ones that are strictly your blood, so I would save the strong ones for the bigger emergencies..."

Sam watched him talk, listening to his words in the back of his brain. "So you're coming with me on this trip?" He asked curiously. "You know, if we're the same blood type you could just donate a bag or two to me. I could use your blood as transfusions and save you the time." He suggested, stretching his legs and relaxing back again. "The transfusions are a bigger life saver than the bombs."

Heartman blinked, furrowing his brow. "Coming with you on this- I... I mean, in a spiritual sense, I suppose I will be going with you," he murmured, a small smile touching his lips as he looked at Sam curiously.

"I can donate a bag or two to you as well. Thankfully, it doesn't take much to make the synthetic grenades, so I already have a full bag and a half that could be donated to your travels."

Sam smiled and looked at the bag next to him. "Well, you're done then. Will you stay here for your next cycle?" He asked hopefully. "Maybe we could watch something before I have to go?" He asked hopefully. 

He didn't want Heartman to know but he was terrified for this final leg of the trip. Too many variables, so many unknowns and none of it looked good. He wasn't sure he'd make it back from this. If being stranded on his Beach or even staying in the Seam meant everyone else would be safe, it was a sacrifice he'd have to make. 

He figured he'd treat this like his last day. Making it a pleasant memory he could be satisfied with to look back on. He didn't have too many of those anymore.

The man nodded, unhooking himself from the blood bag and then carefully doing the same for Sam, so he wouldn't continue to be bled while the man was on the Beach.

"While I'm gone, you can look through my movies and such and pick out what you'd like to watch," he hummed, leaning back against the back of the couch.

"You'll still be here when I get back?" He asked, sitting up a bit and looking to Sam, lingering worry in his eyes.

"We'll watch whatever your favorite is when you get back. I'll stay here." Sam smiled reassuringly again, taking Heartman's hand to hold it while he died this time. 

One thing that Sam liked about his rough disposition was that he didn't always display his fear well. He generally always had a stony face, letting people believe he was stronger than he was. This was the only time he was glad for that. If it put this man at a little bit of ease, it was worth it.

Heartman sighed out a breath and nodded again, letting his eyes close and his hand squeeze Sam's for a moment before his heart stopped and his grip became slack.

_'Where is Sam?'_

_Heartman stumbled slightly, the voice in his ear so close and so not Amelie's._

_'Not here. He's off the network right now,' he lied, turning in a circle to try to locate the man whose voice spoke so closely to his ear, but no one was around. Sam's Beach was devoid of life, besides his own._

_'I can tell that you're lying, Heartman,' the voice hissed in a voice that was tauntingly close again._

_'Well, do you see him here? Because, I can't even see you,' he retorted, his voice a bit sharper than intended._

_'Ohoho! So you've got a little bite left, do you? That's fun! I like it when they've got bite,' Higgs laughed, appearing in a flash behind Heartman, reaching out, reaching through him, gripping his heart as that golden mask appeared over Heartman's face.  
'Only, I've got more bite than you, so tell me where Sammy boy is, before I crush your namesake.'_

_Heartman gasped and struggled behind the golden mask, his face contorting in pain as the other man impossibly gripped his heart._

_'I won't tell you, and you're out of time,' he breathed, feeling himself being pulled from the Beach, pulled from Higgs' grip._

_'Oh, you'll be back. **...and I'll be waiting, Heartman** ,' he whispered against Heartman's ear, before licking his face and releasing him._

**Administering shock, please stand by.**

Coming to, Heartman flew forward, his hand going immediately to his chest, the heart rate monitor blasting an alarm for dangerous heart rate levels. Tears slipped down his cheeks again, as he tried to calm his pesky heart.

This time Sam was already sitting next to him, reaching for him. His own heart pounding to the sound of alarms and the erratic beeping of the monitor. 

"Heartman, you're safe. You're back. You're here. I'm here." He reassured, pulling the gasping man to him, cradling his head against his chest. "Shh... it's going to be ok. What did you see this time?"

He panicked a split moment as Sam pulled him close, but the tension eased when he realized where he was, who was holding him.

"Higgs," he breathed, his voice trembling, not even able to try to hide that. "He's waiting on your Beach, Sam. It's a trap... You can't bring weapons there. He has the upper hand, even though it's your damn Beach, and he knows it!" His heart was still beating heavily and quickly, still pounding.

...he could feel the man's grip on it still, making it difficult to breathe, difficult to-

He couldn't tell Sam that if he didn't go, Higgs was going to crush his heart. That that was likely to happen his next cycle.

What would happen? If the heart of his soul on the Beach was crushed, what would happen to his body? It wasn't something he'd thought to ask before, because he never needed to worry. He never ran into any hostile Beaches really, but when he had he had been able to jump to the next safe place.  
He couldn't get away from Sam's Beach now, though... couldn't get away from Higgs.

"Fuck! That bastard!" Sam growled, getting up now. "I have to contact Bridges and tell them they need to send the order through now." He huffed, getting up to grab his cufflinks off Heartman's desk. 

"As long as hes on my Beach, and you're stuck going to my beach, you're not safe." He hissed, cursing the stupid padded floors and how difficult it was toove around. 

"Tell him I'm coming and I'm going to kill him with my bare hands when I see him." He looked back at Heartman, realizing the man was still panicking. The monitors announcing that unplanned cardiac arrest was imminent. 

"Come here..." he held his arms out, waiting for the smaller man to come to him.

Heartman could feel the unpleasant warmth of over-oxyginated blood flooding his system, but Sam's calm tone as he said _'come here'_ caught his panicked attention.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself up and went to Sam, hesitating before collapsing against him, arms wrapped around the taller, much more muscular form.

"I don't want you to go..." he breathed, his soft plea muffled against Sam's body.

He couldn't lose someone else, not now. Not when things were going so well... He finally had his own connection again, after helping to build devices that connected others, he had something of his own. He wasn't alone anymore.

The emergency of an unplanned attack was relieved, though Heartman's heart was still beating far faster and heavier than it ought to be.

"You can't go into this with a hot head, or you might not come out of it..."

Sam held onto him, resting his hand on the back of Heartman's neck. The other rubbing soothing circles on his back. 

He was right. Fuck. Shit. He was right. And despite wanting to pull Higgs' throat out with his hands to shut the bastard up, he needed to have a plan. He couldn't be reckless and he needed a voice of reason. 

"What should I do?" He asked, voice quiet, weak. He was scared. Scared that if he didn't act now, Higgs would kill his only friend on the Beach. His Beach. Blood on his hands for the rest of eternity. Stranded where he couldn't continue the search for his family.

The soothing touch relaxed the monitors infernal beeping, and the tension in Heartman's body. Taking another shaky breath, he gave Sam's body a squeeze in his arms, the first hug he'd had in a damn long time.

"Be prepared for anything, and improvise. Once you're there, he'll probably shut me out from being there too. If he can trap me there, he can keep me out. ...but that also means he can keep you there, too. There's only two ways out of this: either he goes, or you do..." his voice trembled on that last part, his grip on Sam's shirt tightening a moment.

"Wait him out. See if you can figure out any sort of pattern, or tell. I'm sure he'll be spewing some nonsense shit in your direction, but try not to focus on his words. Focus on his movements. He can still teleport in there..."

Talking about this was awful- he had no clue if his words would be right, or helpful, or would just fuck Sam over.

Sam nodded, relaxing against Heartman, swaying just a bit. "His movements. He'll have a tell. He'll have to get tired at some point. I can absolutely out endure him." He agreed, listening to what Heartman said. 

"Its going to be one or the other on the Beach... and I'm not dying on my own fucking Beach." He reassured, dragging his hand up and wiping the tears off Heartman's face. "I'm coming back. After all this damn walking and hauling my ass across the country I am not going to die now." He promised, voice stern and confident. "I have something to come back for. He doesn't."

He looked up at Sam then, a warm flutter in his chest, that was most certainly recorded by his monitor.

"Who will take care of Lou? While you're there? I would offer but... you'll need her on your way, I'm sure. I've been having readings of super cells popping up all over, and higher spikes of Timefall all over..." he felt that panic rising again so he took a breath.

"...it'll be okay. You'll come back, we'll have that promised dinner and bath, and watch movies like we were going to..." he murmured, mostly for his own sake.

"You have to make it out of there, Sam...I can't-" his voice caught and he lowered his head, resting his forehead against Sam's chest. "...I can't lose you, too."

Sam ran his hand over Heartman's head before resting his head atop the other man's. "You won't. Lou and I are going to be fine. We're going to head west and get Edge Knot on the network. We're going to finish what we've started and then we're going to face Higgs. I'll need a way to the Beach, so I'll have to contact Fragile. I can trust her with Lou while I'm there." He explained, knowing the other man seemed to be comforted by the idea of a plan. 

"I have no idea what to expect, but I'll have everything I'll need to win this thing against Higgs. And maybe we can put an end to the sixth stranding. Or at least put it on hold for now."

He nodded a few times before reluctantly pulling away from Sam, busying himself with moving around his lab, gathering some materials. "I'll start getting those synthetic hematic grenades fabricated. The blood bags we both filled are in the cooler, so I'll send you out with those. How many other weapons and supplies have you got? What else do you need, might be the better question. I'll make whatever you need before my next visit to the Beach. I want to make sure I've done everything I can to keep you safe..."

"I'm not going to leave just yet. I'm going to wait until the sun comes up. It'll be too cold to leave at night." Sam sighed, looking out the window. He needed to be smart about his travel. Needed to be rested by morning so he wouldn't be tired. 

"I'll need guns. I have plenty of blood bags for transfusions. No need for grenades. You've stocked me well enough for those. I'll need boots and a speed skeleton." He listed off his needs keeping them simple enough to keep Heartman distracted a moment. 

He felt the loss of the weight against his chest, wanting him back against him. 

"I'll travel light and drop what I won't need anymore. If everything goes to shit you'll probably have to head back east. Make me a stock pile here of things I may need for my return trip." He requested, knowing he would need something to keep him busy when they lost contact.

Heartman typed as Sam spoke, making a checklist for himself of the things Sam needed now, and the things he could work on after Sam left, to prepare for him to come back.

"Alright, I can do all that. Do you have enough hematic rounds, or do I need to add that to the list?" He asked, glancing up to Sam, his face steely, but pale. He was trying to keep his mind focused on the work, and not the why of the work.

"If you're staying until morning, I can probably do some adjustments to the current speed skeleton model... give it a little more power, not just for the speed but to keep you stabilized in the unfriendly terrain..." he murmured, burying himself into his work, pulling up designs and schematics, sending things to the fabricator when he was ready for them.

He paced a little, but froze and went cold when his alert came up, _5 minutes until cardiac arrest._

"The regular one will be just fine. Once I'm out of the mountains it'll be smooth sailing." Sam shook his head, not wanting him to be absorbed in his work. 

"Once you've sent those to the printer, maybe I could use your bed? I saw you had a bedroom through the kitchen. Would you keep me company? At least until I fall asleep?"

Heartman froze again, this time for a much different reason, as his heart rate spiked for a moment before he turned to face Sam.

"I...I could. But, I won't be much company for a little bit yet. After this trip, we can go lay down? I'll just finish up a few things, have them printed and waiting and then...I'll be out, and when I come back we can try to sleep."

Sleeping wasn't really something he ever did. There wasn't time for sleep in 21 minutes. It would be a short nap at best and that would probably do more damage than good.

He sent the speed skeleton schematic to be printed, along with a few different guns and quite a good amount of hematic rounds.

_One minute remaining. Please hold on to something secure._

"He's going to be waiting for me. He said he would be..." he breathed, going to the couch instead of his chair.

"Tell him I'll be waiting for him in Edge Knot city. He'd better make peace with whatever he believes in. And then tell him he can go fuck himself." Sam said simply, letting his anger hide how afraid he was. 

When Heartman came back the last time... his heart couldn't possibly be strong enough for a repeat. 

He went to the couch, holding his hand as Heartman died and kept holding on until just before the shock was administered.

He nodded, looking to Sam until the last possible moment, letting his eyes close and his head fall back against the couch as he flatlined.

_The grip on his heart returned almost immediately as he came to on the Beach, his breath catching._

_'Welcome back, ready for me?' Higgs purred, leaning over Heartman's shoulder, his hood pushed back so they could look at each other. 'What's it gonna-'_

_'Edge Knot City. Sam is going to be making his way there. He told me, to tell you, you better make peace with whatever you believe in, and to go fuck yourself,' he breathed, turning his head slightly in an attempts to glare at Higgs, but he cried out as the grip on his heart tightened. The man behind him snarled angrily, tugging at his heart, as if he was trying to tear it from his chest._

_'Well you tell him-'_

_'No. I am not going to be your damn messenger. Either you leave, or you let me leave, because I passed along what I needed to and that's it. I'm not playing your stupid game!'_

_'Ohohoho...on the contrary, Heartman... you're my main playing piece in this little game. Sammy boy seems to have taken a certain shine to you... and that was a mistake. Making connections, means creating weaknesses...'_

**Administering shock, please stand by.**

Once the shock was administered and the initial jolt Heartman went through, Sam skipped right to cupping his face, wiping away the tears he knew would be there. 

"I've got you. What happened? He was there again, did you tell him? What did he say?" He asked wanting to know. He didn't want to waste any time, wanted to get it over with, calm Heartman down so they could both get some rest before the next cycle.

Taking his calming breaths, melting into the automatic, soothing touch of the other man.

"He'll be waiting for you. He-" Heartman paused, Higgs voice echoing in his head about the connections and weaknesses. "...you have to be extremely careful, Sam. I don't know what he has up his sleeve, but I know it won't be good. So whatever he throws at you, you block it out and you keep fighting, alright?"

_He's going to use me against you, I'm sure, but I can't tell you that. I can't. You won't go in with a clear head..._

"Of course. I've made a promise to you. And I always deliver." Sam smiled, pulling away from him, holding his hands out. 

"Come on, let's go to bed. You'll need your rest just as much as I do." He pulled him up, feeling like there was something the other man wasn't telling him. He wasn't going to push it, he deserved to have his own secrets. It was only fair.

Heartman took Sam's hands, feeling something of guilt wash over him as he allowed himself to be led to bed. Feelings bubbled inside his chest like ones that he hadn't felt in so long, but they were tainted by the bitter feeling of guilt. He was hiding something important from Sam and it was going to eat him up.

"I keep saying it, but you better come back..."

Sam smiled looking Heartman over. "You like me or something?" He teased lightly, trying to lighten the mood. He couldn't help but feel like Heartman wasn't telling him something that was bothering the other man. 

"I will. I will come back."

His cheeks warmed and he spluttered a little, clearing his throat. "I mean, only a little," he murmured softly, the one leading Sam to the bedroom now, tugging him along.

"Can you blame me for not wanting you to die? For wanting you to come back? I owe you dinner, and a bath, and a movie now, too! I don't like owing people."

Yeah, sure, that was the issue.

Sam smiled, letting himself be pulled along into the bedroom. If the last time had felt like leaving a date, filling his stomach with butterflies, this certainly left his heart and his mind to run a little wild. 

"You know, I cant remember the last time I've slept in an honest bed. You're going to end up spoiling me when I can stay longer." He hummed, climbing onto the bed and watching Heartman. 

"I've had a hot cooked meal and now I get to sleep in a bed. I think you do like me." He breathed a laugh through his nose, settling in and waiting for him to join him.

His cheeks burned, but with a flick of his wrist, the room went dark so Sam couldn't see it. "I do, and I will spoil you, too. When you return safe and sound," he replied quickly, climbing into the bed beside Sam.

"I'll make you plenty of meals, and I'll make sure you get plenty of sleep in this bed, too. We'll trek out to the hot spring as often as you like to relax..."

It was a nice daydream to get him through to whatever was coming next.

"Yeah? I'm sure you make a wonderful husband." Sam hummed without thinking, relaxing back again. He stretched his arm out, inviting Heartman to rest against him. 

If he fell asleep, the shock form his device wouldn't bother him. If it did, well he'd die and come back feeling good as new. And if it didn't, well then he knew he could let Heartman wake up next to him.

Either way was fine with Sam. Though he was sure the man wouldn't like him throwing up goo onto his floor.

"You've said that twice now, Sam - trying to say something?" He asked, trying to be teasing in return, but his voice shook slightly with a hint of excitement, thinking that maybe, just maybe, the other man might be feeling the bubbling of feelings just as he was.

He curled up beside the larger man, feeling the warmth from his body almost immediately.

Sam wrapped his arm around him, pulling him closer. He was quiet for a moment, thinking about the way the man's voice shook when he asked. "I know I can't replace anyone, but it's been a while since I've had a family. It's just a thought." He shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant but failing.

He didn't want to be rejected. But he didn't want to lose his chances at something wonderful. Someone to come back to.

Resting his hand against Sam's chest he felt the other man's heart beating strongly, a reassuring feeling. "Come back to me, and then we'll talk," he replied finally, after a few beats of silence.

He didn't want to say it, but if anything were to happen to Sam, and they had started something more together? It would destroy him, and he didn't know if he could actually bring himself to end his cycles.

Sam couldn't help the grin that slid across his face. It wasn't a no. It was a promise. 

"That sounds fair to me. Now even death won't stop me from coming back." He hummed, playfully pinching Hartman's shoulder. 

"Get some rest. I know once I'm out I'll probably sleep until Die-Hardman comes through the security speaker's to shout at me." He hummed, listening to the sound of the other man's breathing, the quiet beeps of his machine, and before he knew it he was out. A peaceful dreamless sleep while every 21 minutes the man laying next to him was probably stuck in a living nightmare.

Blissfully, Sam slept through Heartman's cycles, only stirring slightly when he woke each time. Each time he went to the Beach, Higgs was there waiting, grinning and taunting, putting further fear into Heartman's heart. He talked about the Extinction Entity, about how everything was going to come to an end, and those that suffered with DOOMS were the ones to live on, if anyone did.  
He asked about Sam, but Heartman never answered, never gave Higgs anything to further poke and prod him with.  
He only was alone on the Beach once, when he went in. No signs or sounds from Higgs, not even Amelie. Just Heartman and Sam's Beach. He tried jumping, then, but he couldn't sense any other Beaches to go to, still trapped to the single Beach.

13 cycles.  
13 deaths before he was tired of being alone.

Heartman woke from the last Beach visit and curled himself close to Sam, placing his hand over the other man's heart.

Sam stirred, pulling Heartman closer to himself and curling against him. He was warm and comfortable, content for the first time in years. 

"You alright?" He grumbled out, feeling the anxiety coming off Heartman. He didn't want to wake up just yet but would if he needed to.

"Mm..." he murmured, a rather nonverbal, noncommittal answer as he practically kneaded his fingers against Sam's chest, above the feel of his heart beat.

"I'm fine, you can sleep more if you need. I just...needed a moment," he breathed softly, resting his head against Sam, feeling almost silly for all of the feelings swirling together inside of him.

Worry that Higgs was right and this was the last he would see Sam, be around him, around anyone. Worry that, if Sam did return, things would be different somehow. He wouldn't need Heartman anymore, so maybe he wouldn't even necessarily come back here.

Sam rolled on his side, wrapping his arms around Heartman, pulling him close. "You're so warm..." he hummed, burying his face in the smaller man's hair. 

"You're worrying. Stop that." He groaned, nuzzling against him, breathing in his scent. "Everything will be alright. I promise."

Feeling Sam press against him, hold him, nuzzle him like this and attempt to placate his worries made the man smile, flashing a thumbs up in the dark, behind Sam's back.

"You know very well that stop worrying is easier said than done.. there's so many things that could go wrong and I can't stop thinking about each and every scenario..." he murmured against Sam's chest, letting his eyes close in an attempt to relax.

It didn't help that everytime he died, Higgs was there to taunt him with some new scenario that left Heartman wishing it would just end.

"I trust you, Sam, but I'm still... terrified to lose you."

"You can't get rid of me that easy." Sam smiled, letting himself start to drift back to sleep. 

"You Bridges guys never know what you're talking about. Nothing ever goes to the way you say. The plan always changes and it always ends up fine. We'll figure it out, always do, don't we?" He yawned, settling in with a wiggle before relaxing again and slipping back into sleep.

"Rude," he muttered, with a huff of a laugh and a thumbs down. "...but I'll keep my trust and my faith in you, Sam... you promised to come back, so you will," he whispered, holding the other man, not stopping himself from pressing a soft kiss to the other man's cheek.

**10 minutes until cardiac arrest.**

Sam smiled at the feeling of soft lips against his cheek. His heart skipping in his chest, little bubbles floating up from his stomach making him feel a little goofy again. 

"Don't forget it either. I always keep my promises." He whispered, holding on and listening to the countdown. It wasn't until after he had died that Sam dared to push his lips against his forehead. He slipped back to sleep like that, not moving again for another hour. 

Leading to exactly what he had guessed, the sound of someone calling his name through a speaker system in Hartman's lab. 

_'Sam? Sam. As soon as you're able to, take the order at the terminal. You'll put the last few centers online. We're getting strong chiral interference, so you may be going it on your own. You need to get moving.'_

In the middle of Die-Hardman's briefing of sorts, Heartman came to, furrowing his brow and grumbling as he buried his head against Sam.

He had to leave. Had to go off into that mess out there and possibly-

No.  
No, he promised he would come back.

"Guess that's your cue..." Heartman murmured softly, flicking his wrist slightly to bring dim lights on, so their eyes wouldn't complain about immediate bright lights. "All of the equipment I had made up should be ready for you out by the terminal... Can I at least make you something quick to eat before you leave?"

"I think I could allow that." Sam hummed, giving the other man one final squeeze before rolling onto his back and stretching. 

He reluctantly got himself up, wanting instead to roll on top of Heartman and go back to sleep. There would be time for that later. Once up, he started getting himself dressed again, telling Lou the game plan before picking her up to say goodbye for now. 

"She's really grown attached to you. I hope you'll at least keep an eye on her if I'm not able to. I won't bring her to the beach." He shook his head, patting her pod before holding her out to him. 

He wasn't ready to leave. He didn't want to leave him here alone to deal with whatever it was that he had been. He didn't deserve that.

Sitting up, Heartman took Lou's pod into his arms, smiling down at her, giving her a thumbs up which elicited a bubbly giggle from the little creature and a returned thumbs up.

"Nothings going to happen to you, you promised," he replied, pushing himself up to hand Lou back to Sam. "You said Fragile was going to look after her while you're on the Beach, facing off with Higgs," he added, forcing himself to put one foot in front of the other and move to the kitchen to make Sam something of a send off meal.

...it felt so much like saying a very permanent goodbye and the thought of that made Heartman's blood run a bit cold, despite the warmth they had just been sharing.

"Yeah but I don't want her looking after Lou long term. I may need to spend some down time after all this." Sam shrugged, watching Heartman move around the kitchen. 

"Nothing permanent, but I imagine Bridges would rather put me in a medical coma and poke at me instead of letting me die and come back good as new." He explained, getting himself strapped in, readying his equipment and hooking up to Lou.

"If it comes down to it, yes, I will take care of Lou for you," he replied after some amount of hesitation, that he hoped was ignored or blamed on his busily making Sam something warm to eat.

"Nothing fancy this time, I'm afraid. Soup and a sandwich - think that'll tide you over until you can get back to me again?" He asked, looking at Sam, and then Lou, feeling that sadness bubbling up again, that worry.

This could be the last time... this could be it. Do something about that, idiot. Take a leap.

"Soup and a sandwich sounds fantastic, thank you." Sam forced his smile, starting to feel that heaviness in the room again. He could see it in Heartman's eyes and he had no idea how to make it go away. 

Instead he started going over the plan again as he ate. He promised he would leave after he got back from his latest cycle so they could say a proper good bye. 

He felt like he could possibly be leaving for good. He knew he shouldn't think like that, but there was always the possibility. He just wished he had more time.

When Heartman came to again, part of him expected to wake up alone, Sam gone, having found it easier to leave while he was gone than to wait around to say their awful goodbyes.

But there he was, geared up and ready to go, but still there and waiting.  
He smiled sadly, looking him over. "You're sure you've got everything, then? Everything you need? If you think of anything else, I could try to get it to you...but it would be best to have it all now in case you really need it," he murmured, wanting to reach out, to hold Sam and Lou and not let either of them go for a long long time.

...but Higgs was growing impatient on the other side. He could feel the sting from the cut the man had given him on the Beach, translated to his body, but thankfully hidden beneath clothes so Sam couldn't worry.

Had to keep his head level and focused - anger would do him no good.

Sam shook his head, looking over everything he had. Knowing it was way more than he needed. He lingered anyways, wishing there was a step he could take to ensure Heartman knew he'd be back. 

"I guess we're should be off then? Maybe I'll hear from you? Keep you updated?" He offered, standing awkwardly in the hall. He wanted to reach out and touch, but he was more afraid of rejection than he was of facing Higgs. He was terrified Heartman would pull away. 

"Right then...off I go. Take care of yourself, Heartman. Please be careful."

"You too, Sam. Call, if you need anything, I'll be here. Or back shortly," he replied, watching the other man walk away from him, also seeming hesitant, worried even.

_Don't let him go without-_

Heartman swallowed heavily and bolted after Sam, wrapping his arms around the other man as he pressed a nervous kiss to Sam's slightly scruffy cheek.

"Please... please be safe," he murmured softly, lingering a moment more before tearing himself away from Sam, stepping back. "I'll try not to go stir crazy while you're gone."

Sam reached up to touch his cheek, letting his fingers linger on the spot. With a quick last minute decision of 'fuck it', he pulled Heartman to him, pressing a hard kiss to his lips before pulling away and giving another gentle one. 

He felt much better about leaving now. Nothing was left unsaid now. "I'll see you soon." He grinned, his heart feeling much lighter, even Lou was laughing in her pod, pressing kisses to the glass. 

"You better forget that shit until you're older." He teased, tapping in the glass and heading out now. He somehow made it out of the lab, starting his long trek to his new and final destination.

Heartman's heart nearly gave out on the spot, his lips a bit bruised from the hard first kiss, soothed by the second gentle one. He stood there in the hall for a good few moments, a bit dazed and watching Sam and Lou head out of sight.

He would be back, definitely. He wouldn't make that return leap if he didn't mean it. He wouldn't.

His alert was the only thing that got his ass moving from the spot, hurrying back into the soft safety of his lab, moments before collapsing on the padded floor.

_When he woke on the other side, the Beach was quiet again, but it was an unsettling quiet. Until it wasn't anymore- shrieks filled his ears, cries of pain with no origin, until he realized it was his own. Higgs had hold of his heart again, tugging and scratching at it._

_'Where is he? You said he'd be coming and he hasn't even arrived yet. So where. is. he?' Higgs snarled in Heartman's ear. 'Didn't tip him off, did you? Risk your own life to keep him from coming here? From facing me? You wouldn't be that stupid, would you?'_

_Heartman squirmed, reaching up to grip at his own chest, squeezing his eyes closed. 'He's on his way! I didn't say anything about Amelie, please...'_

_Higgs leaned in, eyes narrowed. 'Just take a while to say your fond farewells, then?'_

_'He's on his way, that's all that matters. So you better start preparing your goodbyes.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhhh!! That was a lot longer than I expected it to be, sorry!!
> 
> I have a personal love for this one, though ♡  
> Hope you enjoyed it too!


	4. Alone on the Beach, Together at Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this go around, but more coming soon~ ♡

Sam was making record time getting to Edge Knot, using the BTs to his advantage to get across the tar belt. 

He stood on the coast looking at the distro center. He made the final connections, stocking up and going out to see if Higgs decided to show. 

"What the fuck is that?" He breathed, checking on Lou to make sure she was safe before whatever stunt Higgs was about to pull.

He wished he could check on Heartman. He was afraid of the rest of Bridges finding out. It was none of their business what ever they had between them. But this was beginning to look like the end. Like he might not make it out of this.

Without Sam, the cycles were awful. It was like stepping back into some dark age, being alone going in and coming out. He tried to bury himself in the various little things Sam had asked about for when he would come back, but the tasks weren't involved enough that they kept his brain interested.

Everytime he died, he fell back to Sam's Beach where Higgs was impatiently waiting, until he didn't. When he woke up on a Beach that was not Sam's, he knew Sam had made it, that he and Higgs were more than likely facing off together on the Beach he had been trapped on for so long.

Fragile would have brought him there, and would be looking after Lou.

'Fragile, this is Heartman. Has Sam made it to you?'

'Heartman? I've just gotten news that I'm supposed to bring you back east. There's a huge supercell forming and Die-Hardman wants you all there when they take Amelie back.' She informed him. 'Sam is still on the beach now. Higgs is taken care of, but Sam still has other things to take care of. I'll be there in a flash. You can't bring much with you, so be prepared.'

Higgs was already taken care of and Sam was still on the Beach...? What was he doing there?

'Alright. I'll pack light. Best to come as soon as you can, because I'm in between cycles right now,' he replied, closing communications so he could quickly gather some of the things he made for Sam. He didn't need anything for himself.

Fragile popped into the room, having a look around. He was one of her first trips so it was easy getting there. "Ready? Sam is going to have to get back on his own, so if you have anything here for him you may want to leave the door unlocked. The chiral network seems to be cutting in and out."

"He's going to be coming back to my lab? Without me here?" He asked, brow furrowed as he looked to the things that he had packed for Sam already. He unpacked some of the duplicate things and left them on the desk.

"...he should be able to get in. The lab doesn't usually lock if I'm not dead inside of it," he replied, stepping over to Fragile as she looked around.

"Alright... let's do this."

"I have to bring 4 people through jumps. It's going to be difficult, especially with the Beaches being odd. We'll make it there, but I don't know if I'll be able to to do the jump to get Sam." She explained, taking his hands in hers. "He got this far on foot, he can get back." She reasoned, stepping close to the other man. 

"Now, stay still and stay quiet. We're going back to Central Knot." She explained, pressing their foreheads together. She took a deep breath, breathing it out and then...

Then they were in the receiving center of Central Knot city. Right on the east coast. "You'll have to make your way back to the labs. I have to make the other jumps."

Heartman felt a little woozy after the jump but nodded and waved Fragile off. "Be safe. If you find or see Sam will you... will you let me know?" He asked, his alert going off to give him an excuse to hurry away.

He needed to find the labs, or a room, so that he could lie down in peace and not be disturbed or fall and hurt himself.

Sam will be fine. He promised. Whatever is happening, whatever he is dealing with... it's fine. He's fine.

"Oh! Fragile! Where is Sam's BB?"

"Oh I gave it back to Sam. He's going to need it for the trip back." She explained, turning away and grabbing her umbrella.

"I might not see him before you, but if I do, I'll tell him you were asking about him." She gave the other man a knowing smile. She could see the look in his eyes. She knew that feeling. She'd once felt it for the very man who destroyed her. 

"Gotta go. I'll see you again soon." She waved before jumping again. 

Sam took a gasping breath, back to the world of the living, spewing up black goo on the shore line. He looked around, realizing he was back on the other side of the tar belt and being helped into a safe house by some members of Bridges. 

He was then briefed about what was happening and about the long trip he'd need to make back. "Fuck man. After all this I gotta go there on foot? You're telling me we don't even have the damn resources to lend me a truck until I get more than half way?" He huffed, scratching at his face. 

He wanted to ask about Heartman. Wanted to know that he was there and was safe. "Is everyone there already? I'm not picking anyone up on the way?" He asked. It was a round about way of seeing if he was safe and sound and being watched over through his cycles.

"From what I hear, Fragile is jumping and picking anyone up that doesn't have a safe enough place to hold out to the storm, but all that's way above my pay grade. Sorry about that, Sam," the Bridges member replied, making their way to the back of the depo where they would be safe.

"Whatever materials we got, feel free to use em. If there's any places on the way that might have more for you, I'd suggest stopping where you can, getting what you can before making the long haul."

Meanwhile, Heartman made his way to a private room so he could lay down on the shit bed, linking himself to it as he waited for his countdown.  
 _Closing his eyes, he woke on a familiar Beach - his own.  
He hadn't been here in a very long time, having spent all his time searching other Beaches for signs of his wife and daughter.  
Now, here he was, back again after all this time. It had changed, but it still felt the same. A warmth that tingled at the edges, made the hairs on the back of his neck prickle._

_It looked, instead of like the beach in the photo with his wife and daughter that was down turned on his table, like the first time he stepped foot on Sam's Beach. The waters calmly lapping at the shore, the rock formations behind him, with trees beyond that. The wind gentle and the air quiet.  
'Sam!' He called out, just to test it, just to see... but no answering call came to him.  
He wandered aimlessly before finally sitting down, waiting for himself to wake up._

Tears slipped down his cheeks as he took his first breath back in the safety of the private room. He sat up, uncuffing himself from the bed. He buried his head in his hands, heaving a sigh.

Sam nodded, just listening to the other guys talk. He was preparing himself for the long and lonely trip back. "At least we've got eachother, right kid?" He asked, tapping on the glass of Lou's pod. 

He get himself set up, rested and ready to go. He knew it would take days to get back, even walking through the night. He decided not to wait anymore, starting his trip back, on his way to Hartman's lab. 

When he got there, finding it empty, he sat down just inside by the terminal. He was filled with mixed emotions. Relief that he was somewhere safe from the storm and with people who could care for him. And so worried that he wasn't going to make it back to see him. Upset he couldn't see him now and had to wait. 

He rested, getting in a little bit of sleep before heading out again. He was grateful for all the supplies, including food, that Heartman had left him. He probably wouldn't even need to search a distro center for anything. 

He remembered that he would owe the other man many nice things when they saw each other again.

'Sam, Deadman here. How goes the trip? Sorry about having you walk all this way after all you've already done, but Fragile doesn't have the energy to grab another person. She's resting now, in a sort of coma, from all the jumping she did. Everyone is here, though, waiting for you to get back. Be careful out there, Sam.'

Sam smiled at the sound of Deadman's voice. It was nice to hear friendly voice. 'Is everyone else safe?' He asked hopefully, trying not to out the both of them. 

He figured Heartman wouldn't want anyone to know. And it was probably safer for the both of them to keep it that way. 

It was the motivation he needed to get himself back moving, making fantastic time. He'd be back in no time, nearing the final stretch of it all. 

This was where it started getting dangerous. BTs seemed to pop up out of nowhere. Constant time fall and none of the structures he'd built before were of any use to him now. He was stuck completing this final leg by foot, making sure Lou was fine.

'Everyone except you, Sam, so be sure you stay safe out there on your way to us. We're all rooting for you. I have to go, now, though. The network hasn't been acting right with all of this go-'

Deadman's voice was cut out and silence fell. No one else was able to contact Sam, or even each other. The network was down, currently too overrun with the chiral matter in the air, the spikes of energy all over wreaking havoc on it all.

Heartman mostly stayed to himself in the private room, only venturing out every few cycles to check if there was any word about Sam. He was worried, just as the others were, so it wouldn't be seen as suspicious of him to be asking. Everyone was waiting on Sam's arrival, hoping and praying that he would make it safely.

He stopped checking after a while, instead checking what Beaches he could reach - Fragile's Beach, his own, and Mama and Lockne's shared Beach. Sam was still too far for Heartman to reach him...

Sam could see the city. He was almost there, almost through the gates before the ground started to rumble. Each step brought up seeping goo until he was up to his hips moving through it. 

That was when he encountered a massive BT looking like a much bigger version of whatever it was that's bones hung from the ceiling of Heartman's lab. 

Once it was taken care of, chiral readings began to steady again, but were still spiking. He'd finally made it. Getting to the platform and being lowered to the halls below. He'd be able to see his friends again. 

He could feel the hope bubbling up in his chest.

It felt like forever, waiting for Sam to wake up, but Heartman wondered if that was how it felt sometimes even for the 3 minutes that he was gone.

In 1 month span, he had been back and forth to the Beach 1,800 times, waiting for Sam. He couldn't access the other man's Beach, even now that he was back. He visited Sam's room, though, as often as he could. Even volunteered to take care of Lou while Sam was recovering.

"Want to go visit Sam, Lou? Huh?" Heartman stretched, waking from another trip to the Beach. He hadn't recorded not finding his wife and child for a long time now, instead recording about the details of his own Beach and how it was now similar to Sam's. What that could mean.

Carefully, he scooped up Lou's pod, cradling her as he left his room to go see Sam.

Sam's room was filled with laughter and the booming, excitable voice of Deadman and the quiet sound of Fargile speaking.

The man in question was still rubbing his eyes, feeling like he'd been gone for years and at the same time only moments. He was trying to make sense of everything being said to him. The bright lights and the loud noise, confusion. 

The jist of it all was that he had been able to stop Amelie and bought humanity more time.

Heartman paused in the doorway, clutching Lou's pod to his chest as his cufflink alerted him of an irregular heart rate pattern. He swiped the notification away, awkwardly standing in the doorway.  
Every other time he had been to visit Sam, he had been alone, except for Lou.

He cleared his throat, knocking on the doorframe.

Sam turned to look at the new joiner, feeling his heart pick up at the sight of him and his baby. He opened his mouth to say something, interrupted by Deadman. 

"Heartman! And Lou! We were able to get Sam! Fragile and I finally got him back." He grinned, moving to rest his hand on Sam's shoulder but he pulled away before he could. 

Sam was at a loss for words. Glad to see Heartman and Lou were fine, but what to even say?

"Maybe we should give them a moment. I'm sure Sam missed Lou. You and I can go report this to Die-Hardman." Fragile suggested, leading Deadman out of the room, smiling to Heartman as they left.

The man gave Fragile a sheepishly thankful smile as she moved past him with Deadman.

Once the pair were gone, Heartman stepped into the room, the door closing behind him.

"Sam..." he breathed, a relief to hear that name in the non-echoy expanse of his Beach. "It's... it's good to have you back. How do you feel?" He asked, carrying Lou over to his bed, the little baby pressing herself against the glass of her pod, trying to be closer to Sam.

Sam reached out for her, sitting himself up and making room for Heartman on the bed. "You would come talk to me while I was there. I could hear your voice." He smiled up at the other man. 

"I missed you." He whispered, voice rough and quiet. He remembered laying on the Beach, feeling like he'd never come back. Then he could hear Heartman talking to him, reading to him or telling him how Lou was doing. 

It kept him filled with hope. It kept him searching for a way out.

"You could hear me..." he breathed, taking a seat on the edge of Sam's bed, watching Lou blow heart bubbles to her Sam. She had missed him, that much was obvious.

"I tried finding you on the Beach, but I..." he looked down at his hands in his lap, shaking his head. "I couldn't find you, just like I could never find my late wife and daughter. I was so afraid that I'd missed you, too, that you'd moved on and left us..." he murmured, his eyes watering slightly.

Without thinking Sam scooted to the edge of the bed, wrapping his arms around Heartman. He buried his face into his shoulder, heart pounding at finally being able to hold him again. 

"No way. You owe me a date night." He breathed a laugh, understanding now what it truly felt like to be stranded. How long Heartman had lived like that, hopping Beach to Beach and losing hope along the way.

"I do owe you that, don't I? Hot meal, hot spring bath and a movie?" Heartman breathed a laugh and found himself leaning into Sam's body, the warmth that it held, despite his being lost for so long.

"I'm so glad you're back, Sam... you were gone so long," he turned to look at him, carefully reaching up to cup Sam's face. "1,801," he added, knowing Sam would understand the number.

Sam wrapped his arms around Heartman, pulling him further back onto the bed, making it so he could lean back against the wall. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't back sooner. I wish... I'm back now. And you owe me a bath, and a meal. And I think I might even want another kiss." He teased, pulling him around to get a bit more comfortable. He rested his head against Heartman's shoulder, holding Lou tight to his chest. 

"I'm glad she remembers me. I thought maybe someone had replaced her dad." He laughed, looking down at her, pressing his hand to the glass.

"No one could replace you, Sam," he whispered, leaning against the other man, running his fingers carefully along his jaw. "Though, she does like me quite a bit, I'm no you," he teased lightly, placing his other hand against Lou's pod, feeling the hum of the pod itself.

He smiled lightly, letting his eyes close. "It doesn't matter how long it took, I'm just glad you're back," he breathed, turning his head slightly to kiss Sam's forehead.

Sam relaxed into the touch. For once in his life he enjoyed the feeling of fingers against his skin. The weight of someone else against him was calming rather than suffocating. 

Heartman's touch filled him with warmth. A possibility of happiness that he thought he had lost with his wife and son. 

"They'll come back soon. And bring everyone with them. I'm not sure I'm ready to let them know yet... I still don't trust Die-Hardman. I don't want him to use me against you if something happens." He sighed, reluctantly sitting up and moving away from Heartman. 

"I don't want you to leave yet though."

He wouldn't lie, it stung a little that Sam pulled away, but his reasoning was sound. Die-Hardman wasn't exactly a trustworthy individual; Heartman had never been his biggest fan.

"I won't leave-"

**10 minutes until cardiac arrest.**

"-except for my 3 in 10 minutes," he teased lightly, pushing himself up from Sam's bed. "Die-Hardman has been waiting for you to wake up so he could make some speech, I guess. I've only heard rumors and the like. I'm not exactly high up on the Bridges food chain."

"Lucky you." Sam smirked, looking him over. "There's still a friendly amount of room on the bed." He suggested, scooting to the far end, curling up around Lou's pod. 

"Well, with Amelie gone and no one left to take the presidency, if that's still something that matters to anyone, the director would be the next in line. He's probably going to declare himself president of the UCA." Sam huffed, not liking that idea one bit. 

"He's probably going to announce it in a few days, keeping us all stuck here until then. Then he'll kindly tell us all to fuck off back to where we all came from and you'll go back to your lab in the mountains."

Heartman grinned, sitting back down beside Sam on the bed. "I'll have to put in a request for you to bring me back to my lab, then. Can't exactly trek that distance on my own, dying every 21 minutes. Who knows what could happen to me out there, collapsing to the ground for 3 minutes at a time..." he shook his head solemnly.

"I'll pay you a decent sum, in food and quality rest and relaxation," he added with a grin, leaning close to Sam a bit until he heard approaching footsteps. He pulled away, looking down at his alert, which showed 3 minutes and counting.

"Going to be leaving you alone to deal with all of that, sorry Sam."

But he wasn't really sorry.

Sam rolled his eyes, hearing footsteps in the hall. "How convenient for you to die now." He huffed with a grin on his face. "Alright, I'll be here when you get back." He looked him over appreciatively. 

"And I guess I would be willing to lug your sorry ass back to your lab." He agreed, scooting over so Heartman could lay down comfortably.

Laying down in the space Sam provided, he gave the other man a thumbs up before closing his eyes. "Good luck with all that, Sam," he hummed, touching Lou's pod gently before listening to the countdown.

______

_His Beach wasn't as gloomy this time when he opened his eyes. The lighting was gentle and the breeze was warm and soft through his hair. He smiled a bit to himself and wandered his Beach, sitting down in the sand, playing with it between his fingertips._

Sam sat through Die-Hardman's little announcement, having guessed exactly correct. When Heartman came back to, Sam was avoiding the touch of the people around him. 

He listened to their too loud voices and the self proclaimed victories of the UCA and the new network possibilities and just a bunch of stuff he really didn't care about anymore. 

He just wanted it to be over with now. Continue making his deliveries... possibly make a home and a family for himself. He just wanted to be allowed to live how he wanted now.

Heartman sat up slowly, no tears this time as he returned from the Beach, mid-announcement of the big speech that was going to be made, as Sam guessed, in a few days. With a sigh, Heartman swung his legs off the bed, listening halfheartedly to what was left of Die-Hardman's shpeel.

When he was finished, he thanked Sam, again, told him it was good to have him back, and departed from the room. Lockne lingered to talk to Fragile, and Deadman came over to say hello to Lou.

"Hey, have you eaten?" Heartman asked, turning to Sam. "Did you get the supplies I left at my lab?" He added as an afterthought, wondering if Sam had stopped there to look for him.

Sam smiled and nodded. "I did, thanks for the snacks. I think when we do a movie I'll let you be in charge of the food." He teased lightly, feeling tired from all the fussing over him. "And those transfusion bags saved my life. I think theres still a bit of your blood pumping around in there." He laughed, lounging back now with a yawn. 

"I haven't eaten anything yet since I've woken up. Not really sure I want the distro food they gave me, but maybe they'll feel bad for me this time and let me have something good." He hummed, wanting to reach out and hold Heartman's hand.

Heartman's cheeks warmed slightly, thinking about his blood running through Sam's veins. A part of himself traveling through Sam's body, keeping him going. It sounded rather intimate.

"I could probably find some food, if you like. Bring it back... I'll kick everyone out so you can catch some sleep, too," he added, sitting up and glancing around to Deadman holding Lou's pod and cooing at her, and Fragile and Lockne just now leaving to continue their conversation elsewhere.

"Hey, Deadman, will you keep an eye on Lou for me? I think I'm going to get a little more sleep. She would probably like to spend some time with you." Sam offered, looking up at Heartman. 

"I think I'll take you up on that. I feel like I haven't eaten anything my whole life." He rubbed at his stomach. "Promise to come back with something? I'll even eat that shitty package food."

"I'll come back with something, yes. So just get some rest," he replied, smiling softly at Sam, before glancing to Deadman.

The other man got the hint and scadadled from the room, carrying little Lou with him as he went, talking to her excitedly as he did to nearly everyone.

"I'll be back within 21 minutes, otherwise I'll see you after my next cycle," Heartman hummed, lingering in Sam's room a moment as the noises from the others became more and more distant

"Don't be gone long. I was alone on the beach for a long time. I want you to come back and lay with me." Sam smiled at him, watching him go. 

He made himself comfortable, waiting for him to come back. He felt like he would always spend time waiting on Heartman. Seemed to make the time they did get that much more special.

"I was alone, too," he replied softly before heading from the room, in search of something edible.  
Great fully, he did find a kitchen where he could whip up something hot and not prepackaged astronaut food crap.

Granted, it was just mashed potatoes and hamburger meat, but it was something.  
He hurried his way back to Sam's room, his alert announcing that he only had 3 minutes left until going to the Beach again.

Stepping into the room, he closed the door and activated the lock, setting the food on the table.  
"Sam, I'm back."

Sam watched Heartman lock the door, sitting up and moving to the side. "Hot food?" He hummed, settling his back against the wall. 

He patted his lap, leaving him plenty of room to lay down and rest his head against his thigh while he ate. "You know, you really are going to make a great husband." He smirked, watching him get comfortable before the countdown began.

Heartman's cheeks flushed as he lay his head in Sam's lap, giving the other man's chest a light smack. "Between the two of us, I am most certainly the wife," he retorted, a slight smirk on his lips as he settled in and closed his eyes.

"You'll be here when I come back, won't you? ...and then you can sleep, like before you left."

He nodded, unable to wait for an answer as his countdown reached

_________

_Slipping to the Beach, he found himself on Sam's Beach for the first time in so long, since Higgs had him trapped here. Everything was back to the way it had been when he first found himself on Sam's Beach. A light fog hung in the air, and the water lapped lazily at the shoreline. It felt like it might rain, or had recently done so, the air held a wet chill to it._

_'Hello you beautiful thing...' he called to the expanse of the Beach._

Sam was able to enjoy one or two nights curled up around Heartman before they were all expected to show up for Die-Hardman's masturbatory speech. 

Oh sorry, his presidential speech of how the UCA came together and will continue to bring people together or whatever. 

He just waited through, thinking of everything he and his partner could do within 21 minutes. He could learn to live his life in intervals. 

That was until the man brought up Sam. He had to leave, pissed off. He needed the air. He hadn't done any of this for the attention. He didn't want to bring anyone together and he sure as shit didn't give a flying fuck about America. But here the man was talking about values and ideals he knew nothing about. He hadn't seen first hand what his hard work was doing for people.

He was just about to leave the distribution center when Deadman stopped him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who have played the game, you know what comes next
> 
> for those of you that haven't played the game - the hell are you doing?! Do it! Or watch someone else play!!
> 
> Spoilers are all over in this fanfic!  
> Especially next time!!


	5. Family Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG SPOILERS THIS CHAPTER

The two nights before the presidential speech were the best two nights Heartman had had in a long while. He spent his 21 minute intervals curled up with Sam, and his 3 minute intervals exploring Sam's Beach, mapping out every part of it carefully, getting to know it.

When the day of the speech came around, Heartman was allowed the couch, a spot for him to die and return while Die-Hardman ran his mouth. He woke up just as the new president began to speak of Sam, and turned, watching his partner storm from the room. His heart sank, knowing Sam wouldn't want him to chase after him. He was worried what others would think if they found out about them being together, though Fragile had already figured it out on her own.

"Sam... we need to talk. Where are you going?"

"What?" Sam huffed, turning around. He took a deep breath, shaking his head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so short." He sighed, filled with anxious and frustrated energy. 

"Just going for some fresh air. What did you need?"

"....it's...it's about Lou," he started, carefully bringing the pod around from where he had been hiding it behind his back. The pod was dark, with warning signs displayed around the base. "I... there's a decommission order for this BB, Sam. It was requested that you are the one to take them to the incinerator..."

Sam felt the wind get knocked out of him, his blood running cold. "She's... she's dead?" He asked, the words barely heard. He almost wasn't able to get them out. 

"No... Lou she can't be... I was just with her this morning..." he held his arms out, wanting to see her. He needed to see with his own eyes.

Deadman frowned, carefully, gingerly handing the pod over. "BB's are not meant to last as long as Lou has, Sam..." he explained gently, a deep sadness and regret in his voice. "It's a mystery that this BB has been in service as long as this, as it is. Something about you, I think, is what kept her going," he murmured, shaking his head, not understanding it all to explain it.

"...the request is waiting for you at the terminal."

Sam looked down at her, floating lifeless in her pod. Even when she slept she moved around. 

"Isn't there something you can do? Can't you open the pod and do something?" He asked, looking at Deadman with pleading eyes. "Please... there has to be something."

"I- Sam... I can't... BB's can't survive outside of their pods. Even if I could somehow revive her, she wouldn't survive," he replied, wanting to reach out and comfort Sam, but knew it would only further upset him.

"....but, should you reach the incinerator, and something were to happen to your cufflinks... no one would have to know where you were. You would be off the grid."

Sam blinked, confused a moment before remembering. It was a new crime to tamper with a BB pod. "Right..." he nodded, hoping whatever he could do would work. 

"Well... I'll take the order. One last trip together, huh Lou?" He asked, feeling his eyes water.

"Hey, Deadman?" He called, taking the risk and pulling him into a hug. "Thank you for taking care of her. She stuck around so long because she had someone looking out for her." 

When he pulled away, he attached Lou back onto his chest. Ready to start his trip to the incinerator. He brought her all the way there, remembering this was exactly the situation he got her.

He was supposed to decommission the BB but couldn't. So here he stood, cuff links and pod sitting in the incinerator's stand. He decided to open the pod. 

At the very least, he would be able to kiss her goodbye before having to burn her body. He held onto her, crying when he couldn't get her to breath or make a sound.

Once Die-Hardman's speech was over and everyone was allowed to leave, Heartman went to search for Sam, but found no sign of him, or Lou.

'Sam, its Heartman. Did you go out somewhere with Lou? The speech is over, so it's safe to come back.'

Only, there was no response, and when Heartman looked up Sam's information, there were no display of vitals, no anything. He felt a vice grip on his heart again, as if he were back on the Beach with Higgs holding tightly to his heart.

"Deadman! Hey! Have... have you seen Sam? I was going to check on him after he left the presidential speech but, I can't seem to find him...'

Deadman shifted awkwardly. "Uh... yeah. He's just running a quick order out. He should be back at any time." He lied terribly, worrying his hands and not looking Heartman in the eye. 

He didn't know if he should tell anyone where Sam went. He knew Heartman was probably safe to tell, but he wasn't sure.

Sam felt himself freeze when he heard the first little gasps and then crying. "Lou!" He breathed, pulling her close to him, burying his nose against her tiny little neck. He cried, kissing her and praising her for being a strong, beautiful little thing and living. 

He made the decision to burn his cuffs along with the pod. If anyone decided to investigate, it would simply look as if he'd climbed in with her after setting the incinerator to go. 

He held the small back against his neck remembering his own father. Being removed from his own pod. 

He promised her he would be everything his own father never got the chance to be.

"Oh. Oh, okay. Well... I'll just wait here for him then. Need someone to get me back to my lab, after all. Might as well put in the request for Sam to bring me back. I owe him a hot meal, anyway," he returned with a sheepish laugh of his own, finding Deadman suddenly a bit suspicious.

What sort of order was Sam out fulfilling right now? Why didn't he answer his cuffs, or at least wait to tell him where he was going?

He waited in the main entrance of the distro center for his entire 21 minutes, collapsing there on the floor when his countdown ran down.

After having spent all his dead time for the past few days on Sam's Beach, suddenly, he found himself on his own Beach instead. Sam was too far for him to reach again, and that in itself made his worry spike.

When he woke from his 3 minute interval, his body ached from the fall to the ground, but he was still alone, and there was no word from Sam.

At least 13 cycles he stayed there, waiting, a coldness settling in when there was still no word from Sam. He had even tried calling out to him from the Beach...

Deadman finally broke down, going over to Heartman. "You should head back home. Die-Hardman is having you sent back. He's going to ask Fragile to take you and if she can't, then they'll have someone else take you home. But Fragile is going to travel with Lockne. You should travel with them and then you're just down the mountain!" He forced himself to act cheerful.

He felt bad for not telling Heartman the truth. In all honesty, he didn't know what had happened with Sam either. Was he safe? What about Lou? If he told Heartman, would that make him worry more? Or less?

"I-"

_Can't give away too much, because if Sam is fine, then outting us, even to Deadman, might make him uncomfortable._

"Maybe I'll just wait for another porter, or Sam. I can stay here a little while longer. Wouldn't want to over strain Ms. Fragile again," he replied, trying to seem calmer than he was. "Maybe he picked up some other order on his way back, or found some lost orders and decided to take those..." he added, more for his own benefit than for Deadman's.

He was worried.  
He hadn't heard from Sam, and his bio data wasn't coming through either. Some interruption to the cufflinks or...

"Besides, I don't travel well. The whole dying thing really turns people off, you know?"

Deadman forced a smile, honestly wanting to cry at the thought of Sam handling the disposal of his baby alone. He didn't know if Sam or others could repatriate anymore. 

What if he was just gone? He should tell someone, but he couldn't. "Right. Maybe he's picked up another order. I'm sure he'll be back." He agreed, turning and leaving. He was going to tell Fragile that Heartman needed a way home.

Stubborn man that he was, Heartman waited for Sam until finally Fragile came to him, per Deadman's request.

"Heartman, it's time to go. I'm bringing you home," she said, no room for argument, but he turned to her to argue anyway.

"No, I'm not leaving until Sam comes back," he replied, trying to sound easy about it, but there was a tension to his voice, a held back worry and anger. "He'll be back. He promised... I owe him dinner, and he wouldn't back out on that," he added, looking up to her.

Fragile sighed, shaking her head as she pulled Heartman up, the man only weakly protesting. "You're needed back where you're supposed to be, Heartman. If Sam comes back here any time soon before stopping by yours, I'll tell him where to find you," she reassured, shushing the man so she could jump.

Appearing in his softly padded lab, Heartman lurched slightly,feeling as though he'd been ripped from where he was meant to be, back to familiarity.

"If you see him-"

"Yes. I'll direct him here," Fragile sighed before disappearing again with a lightning crack.

Again, Heartman tried to contact Sam, wasting his 21 minutes with the attempt.

'Sam, its Heartman. Deadman said that you took an order and were out, but would be back... but that was yesterday. Fragile brought me home, even though I asked her not to. Did something happen? Are you safe? Why haven't you responded? Why is your bio data unavailable? ....you're not...you're not dead, right? ...Sam, please... please, you promised you wouldn't leave me alone like this again. So you can't... you can't be gone. What am I supposed to do without you?'

Traveling with a living child was incredibly difficult. He had to be so careful, not to slip or fall. Keeping her tucked inside his jumpsuit was the easy part seeing as all she wanted to do was cling to him.

The mess was the worst of it. A naked baby was a disgusting baby. Where he didn't have to think of it before, now he had to stop to feed her and clean her. He'd finally managed to trust someone enough to give him clothes for her. 

The trip to the mountains wasn't so bad. Time fall didn't seem to be a problem that often anymore and BTs were few and far between. His main concern was keeping her warm while they were moving through the snow. 

What normally would have taken him hours took him days and when he had finally seen that familiar lab in the distance he could have broken down and cried. He may have a little. 

It had taken him nearly a month to get back here. He had no contacts, no use of supplies or vehicles, just him and Lou relying on the mercy of other porters. 

His heart pounded, stomach doing flips as he walked up the stairs, surprised that he wasn't able to get into the lab. He went back down by the lake, trying to think of something. He shouted, tossed rocks and was about to resort to firing off his gun to get the man insider's attention. 

Before he realized he might not even be there anymore.

After being dropped off at his lab against his will, he was left alone there as he had always been before, but what no one knew was that it was different. He had spent so much time here with company more recently that being here in the silence by himself was almost maddening.

Each Beach visit consisted of trying to find Sam, calling for him, and each period of 21 minutes in his empty lab was spent calling out, or curled up on his padded floor as tears slipped down his cheeks.

It was worse than searching for his wife and child, because at least with their search, there had always been the logic driven part of himself that knew - he had watched them move on into the water without him. They were long gone.  
With Sam, with Lou... he had no idea. No clue what could have happened, where they were, if they were alive or not.

1,804 cycles of nothing but tears and cries and empty lab and empty searches when those shouts and soft tink sounds against his window dragged him from his own self-destructive thoughts. Heartman made his way slowly to his big window, the one that overlooked the heart shaped lake.

His heart stopped, seeing a figure there in the snow. There was no yellow pod, but the figure standing against the white of the snow was very clearly Sam. His Sam. After all this time, after thinking he was-

'Sam! Sam, where have you been?! No one has heard from you in-'

No yellow glow from the BB pod, no blue glow from the cufflinks.

Sam was no longer connected. That's why he couldn't be reached, couldn't be traced, couldn't be found. Sam had disconnected himself from the network he had brought together.

Heartman felt a cold run through his veins as he looked down at the man in the snow, his alert flashing on the window - **10 minutes until cardiac arrest.**

He felt his heart nearly stop when he saw the man standing in the window. The one he'd been thinking about, dreaming of, knowing he had to get back to. 

He waved, a big gesture, just happy to see him again. He tapped his wrist, trying to ask how long he had, pointing to the stairs. He started moving back to the door, thinking about how fantastic it would feel to finally be in Hartman's arms again. 

To finally have him and hold him here in front of him. To show him why he had to be gone for so long.

The first door opened, allowing Sam entry to the terminal, because Heartman was not a cruel man, despite his being hurt, despite feeling as though Sam had been cruel in his silence, in his disappearance after already having been gone so long from him.

It was cold out there, and a long distance to any other prepper or distro center, and certainly a trek to a Knot city.

The terminal area and hall were warm, and would give him some sort of comfort before he had to move on to wherever else he would go.

Stepping away from the window, Heartman lay himself down on his chair, tapping it with his arms to set the window to dark, displaying his countdown timer in big bold red numbers.

He would wake, and Sam would be gone again, surely.

Sam wasn't able to access the terminal to see or talk to Heartman. And even if he could, it would notify the rest of Bridges to where he was located. 

So he waited, moving to the hall where the inner door was. It was locked to him, too. He began knocking on it in intervals of 3 minutes at a time, not sure when the cycles began. 

"Heartman... please open the door. I can explain everything." He begged, knowing he looked terrible and smelled worse. He rocked Lou inside of his suit, pressed against his chest.

When he came to again, there was knocking at his door and he pinched the bridge of his nose, pushing himself to his feet. He flicked his wrist, typing something up with one hand as he moved to the door.

"I don't want to hear it, Sam. Do you have any idea what you've put me through? At least with my late wife and child, I knew they were dead and gone. I knew deep in my disformed heart that no matter how I searched, they had moved on without me. I had closure even though I kept searching for more. That search was my purpose, my reason for going on and on back and forth," he rested his head against the door, tears leaking down his cheeks. "...you left me nothing. Without a word, without any inkling as to what was happening - Deadman said you took an order. That you'd be back in no time. I waited at the entrance for you for 16 cycles before Fragile forcibly jumped me here. 1,818 cycles I've searched and called and cried, and you think you can just waltz in and fix everything now?"

Sam felt his throat close, excited by the sound of his voice but terrified that he wouldn't get to see him. "Please... let me just explain! If you decide after you don't want to see me again, then I guess that's what you want and I'll respect that." He scooted closer to the door. He pressed his hand against it hoping Heartman was on the other side.

"It was about Lou... she... I was given the order to decommission and dispose of the dysfunctional BB. She'd died in the pod." He explained and even though she was here in his arms and pressed to his chest, it hurt more than anything to think about it.

Heartman's breath caught, tears welling in his eyes anew. "Lou... oh, Sam..." he breathed, wanting so badly to dent the man entry, to stay strong and to stay mad because he was right to be upset, to be angry, but he couldn't keep Sam out forever, especially not if Lou...

With a flick of his wrist, the door opened, and he was standing in front of Sam looking more tired and more broken than he had ever looked before. He was skinnier, and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"I...I'm so sorry..."

Sam looked up at him, hating the way that Heartman had looked like he'd given up. 

"I opened the pod." He looked up at Heartman, lowering the zip on his jump suit to show the baby he held underneath. "I had to lose the cuffs. I'd committed a crime against the president's orders." 

He looked up at Heartman, Lou fussing now at the sound of his voice. "Want to hold her?"

Heartman took a step back, blinking a few times, shock crossing his face first before curiosity took over.

"She's... she's alive...?" He asked quietly, abandoning his anger and his resentment in favor of that burning curiosity that made him step forward again, holding his arms out hopefully. "Lou...?"

Lou turned to him, reaching out for him, excited to see him again. 

"She lived. It was a nightmare getting here, taking her through all of this. I was terrified I'd gone through all that just to have her die in the cold." He admitted, handing her over to him. 

"And if anything, if you still hate me and want me to go... please just take her in. I don't... I can't go to Deadman. He's Bridges property and a shit liar." He almost couldn't believe the man was standing in front of him. He had made it, he was here. 

He was passing out from exhaustion now that he knew Lou was safe.

Heartman scooped Lou up in his arms, cradling the small babe as Sam seemed to sink to the ground. With a heavy sigh, Heartman brought Lou to the couch, kissing her forehead a moment, whispering to her before going to get Sam.

He was a bit heavier than Heartman could really usually handle, but he knew Sam needed rest on something at least softer than his entryway. If he could at least drag him to the padded floor...

He stumbled a bit but managed to drag the other man to the padded floor, collapsing over him a moment to catch his breath, his heart monitor alert blaring that he was in a danger zone.  
Swiping the alert away, he forced himself to move to get Lou, returning to Sam's side to flop on the ground beside him with Lou.

"Your daddy is a pain in the ass, you know? Worrying me like you both did and then coming to my doorstep to pass out?" He chuckled, bouncing her gently. "But look at you, little lady. So lively and happy, aren't you?"

Lou laughed excitedly, reaching for Heartman's face. She turned her head, looking Sam over and reaching toward him before scrunching her nose and laughing.

Sam stank. He hadn't eaten anything or bathed much through his trip. Living on worms was terrible, but he'd made it. And he might be turned out on his ass again. 

He'd just about slept through a day and a half before waking up on the comfortable floor. "Lou!?" He gasped, searching for her, slipping his mind where he was. His eyes looked around, wide and frantic, worried he may have crushed her.

Heartman turned from his place by the computer monitors, a soft smile touching his lips when he looked at Sam, Lou cradled the opposite side of his AED.

"She's just fine, Sam. I did a few scans and she's healthy, developing like a normal infant should be," he hummed, having done the scans in private and deleted the information as soon as he had read through it himself.  
Sam and Lou were hiding; he wasn't about to jeopardize that.

"How do you feel?" He asked, carefully making his way over, his alert flashing 10 minutes silently on the window behind him. "Can you move on your own? I couldn't get you to the bed, or the couch, so I did what I could... the floor is more comfortable than nothing," he sighed, bouncing a sleeping Lou.

Sam nodded, laying back slowly, relaxing now that he knew she was safe and healthy. "Am I still in trouble?" He asked quietly, looking Heartman over carefully. 

He sat up, feeling like he'd had the best rest of his life. He saw Lou was settled, sleeping and comfortable. She was wrapped in a blanket and was completely at home.

"Only a little," he hummed softly, keeping his voice calm and a little lower than he would usually speak - it was almost a purr. "But you did come back, so I suppose I should give you the benefit of the doubt for that, even if I had to wait an excruciating other 1,818 cycles for you to be at my doorstep," he hummed, looking over to Sam as he rocked Lou.

"You'll have to take her, shortly. Next cycle is coming and I think she's sick of being put on the floor."

Sam smiled, holding his arms out for her. "I'll wait for you to come back and bathe. I know you probably don't want me here like this. And I'll give you some space if you want it, just... please keep her safe." He looked down at Lou who was sleeping soundly, sucking on her thumb. 

"Anything you want. I won't go far. I promise." He watched the both of them, getting himself up but not leaving the door way. He was still a mess, not wanting to make matters any worse.

Heartman carefully handed Lou over to Sam, looking up to him cautiously. "I don't want you to leave, and I don't mind you being here... but a bath might be nice for all of us, actually. And then I'll cook something up for food," he paused, looking to Lou.

"What have you been giving her? I'm not sure if I actually have formula... or milk, even..." he furrowed his brow, a new problem to think about while he was on the Beach.

Sam frowned, looking down in shame. "I didn't have anything and couldn't go into the cities or centers. So what I had to do was chew up cryptobiotes and feed them to her." He admitted, wishing he could have done better for her. 

"One of the farms we passed gave her some soy milk but other than that, that was all she was eating." He sighed, looking at Heartman sadly. 

"I'm terrified to be a father. I have no idea what to do... I figured she'd be safe here even if I couldn't stay."

"Don't look so like a kicked puppy, Sam," Heartman chuckled lightly, cautiously reaching out, hesitating before resting a hand on the other man's shoulder.  
"You did wonderfully - as I said, she's alive and healthy and growing as a normal infant would be. You did what you could, and that's so much better than most," he smiled softly, looking to the sleeping babe in Sam's arms.

"We'll figure this out together, I promise-"

**2 minutes until cardiac arrest. Please proceed to a safe location.**

"-that we will figure out a food situation for her after I'm back. Even if we have to puree food for her or something. I really have to lay down, though. My body is a bit... bruised."

Sam tilted his head. "Bruised? Why is it...?" And before he could finish, Heartman was gone, the lab dark again and the soft music playing. 

He waited for Heartman to wake, needing to have him there again. The three minutes felt like an eternity to him. He watched him, lifeless and still. This was how Sam feared he'd find him. Unattached to his life sustaining device and gone for good. 

Instead he had found him furious and very much alive, though he looked terrible. He figured they could fix that together. Some well deserved rest and maybe some meat on his bones. Someone to take that worry out of his eyes. 

He looked Lou over. She'd been cleaned and wrapped in what felt like the softest material he'd ever touched. She was still sleeping, resting now for all of the work she'd done over the past year. 

He feared that the easy part of his life was over. Raising a child would be terrifying work in this world. How to give her what she needs, what she deserves, when it's so difficult to get anything.

_'I could puree food for her, of course, but she's still rather young... she needs milk, formula... I could see about finding a way to fabricate it, but would I want to put fabricated formula in our baby...?'_

_Heartman paced the Beach, talking himself through a few ways to handle the food situation for little Lou._

Waking back up from the Beach, Heartman sat up, taking a breath. "From passing out in the entryway of the distro center," he replied, having caught at least part of Sam's question before he had gone to the Beach.

"I could try figuring out how to fabricate baby formula, or we could find somewhere or some way to get milk..." he went on, moving past the past and focusing on their current dilemma. "Pureeing food would work too, but she's so small still. Quite young... I'm not sure pureed foods are what she needs right now?" He pushed himself from his chair, going to Sam and Lou, carefully touching Sam's arm.  
"But don't worry, Sam. We'll figure it out. We can do this."

Sam watched Heartman jump right from death back into life as if he hadn't even been interrupted. "I'm sure there would be plenty of mothers that would be grateful for the idea of synthetic milk." He laughed at the idea, having met an expecting family actually not that far from here. 

He shared that information with Heartman. Maybe it would be possible to share old toys with them, take them off their hands when their little one was too old for them. Just a little older than Lou. 

"Well, one step at a time, right? Bath. Food. I'll give her her meal the way I have been and we can watch something? Just like you promised?" He asked hopefully. He could see Heartman was still upset about everything, though he did understand that Sam had a good reason.

Nodding, Heartman took Sam's hand in his own, pulling him out of the lab and down the hall so they could make their way to the hot spring.

"It's possible... I think I could actually come up with what I need, though I might contact Lockne and ask her and Mama about it," he glanced to Sam, to Lou, shaking his head. "But don't worry, I won't say anything about either of you. I'll tell her that I'm asking for the couple you just told me about," he shivered a bit, now that they were out in the cold of the snowy mountain.

"You'll have to give me a few days. Until then, pre-masticating and/or pureeing food for Lou should work just fine."

A bit of a giddy excitement seemed to be bubbling just beneath the surface for Heartman.  
A new project - an important one. It wouldn't just affect himself and Sam, but might be helpful for other families trying to start up.  
...plus, he had Sam and Lou back, now. Whatever ouchy feelings he still held onto could be cleared away with time.

Sam let himself be led outside again, following him out and up to the hot spring he kept. 

He trusted Heartman with Lou. Lou was the most important thing in the world to him and he would do anything to protect her. And if that meant handing her livelihood and safety over to the smartest man he knew, well he would do anything to accommodate him. 

"Would you hold her while I get undressed? I'm still trying to get used to not just setting her pod to the side." He admitted sheepishly, handing her over again. "I was so afraid I'd crush her while I slept. Or that she'd manage to get away somehow. Or someone would take her." He admitted, looking at the beginning of his little family now. 

"You have no idea what a relief it is to have help with her." He took a deep breath, pulling his clothes off. 

He was covered in new bruises and sores. His feet still bled a little and there were bruises and rashes from where his pack sat. Cuts from where he had been careless and slipped, hurting himself instead of risking dying. In the moments he was gone, that would mean Lou was all alone. He would do anything to make sure she was never alone in her life.

Holding Lou close to him, Heartman couldn't help but watch as Sam slipped out of his clothes, catching every little flinch or twitch or muscle spasm, every new bruise or fresh wound and mentally cataloging it all.

"Oh Sam..." he breathed, moving Lou to one side so he could free a hand to reach out to Sam. "When you're all cleaned up, I'm going to take a look at some of these and fix them up for you, alright?" He murmured softly, hating to see Sam so hurt, but knowing he got these injuries so that he could keep Lou safe. It was amazing of him, really.

"Poor thing is probably rather unused to being so free and open, too. You're both adjusting, and that's understandable; it's going to take time," Heartman smiled, a little wryly. "What a coincidence that we have plenty of that, since you rather saved the world."

Sam frowned, looking himself over. He hadn't seen himself naked since before he had to be on the run. There was more discolored skin than there was his regular, unmarked flesh. 

"You... you don't have to do that. She's safe now and I still have a few rounds in my handgun." He looked away from Heartman, pulling away, not wanting to think about the next part. "I just want to rest my feet for a bit. Then I can go into the mountains and take care of it. Be back before you know it and no trouble to you at all. You don't have to go through all that effort." He reminded him, feeling cold in his heart at the thought of dying now that he had so much to live for. 

"Here, I'll hold her. Get yourself undressed and get into the water with me. I want to make sure your bruises are healing. You didn't hurt yourself too bad, did you?"

"You are _not_ leaving again," Heartman said firmly as he carefully handed Lou off to the already naked man. "I'd much prefer to take care of your injuries myself. It won't take much, I just want to check them over, make sure they're healing properly and aren't going to get infected," he added as he removed each piece of his suit in a rather careful and meticulous manner, folding each piece to set it aside.

"As for myself, it's nothing I can't handle. It's been a month, anyway," he murmured.

Naked in the snow, Heartman's ribs looked dark and tender, with the sickly greenish yellow around the edges where it was slowly but surely healing, meaning the dark area had been larger previously. He had some bruising on his right arm, but most of the dark and nasty looking injuries were to his ribs and back, where it was evident he fell completely from a standing position, more than once.

He stepped gingerly into the water and reached up to take Lou so Sam could get in as well.

Sam handed her down, climbing in himself. He took his time getting in, the hot water soothing and stinging at the same time. "I can't say I've ever had anyone look after me when I hurt myself. If I broke a bone or anything serious, I was always given a trip to the beach. Even as an adult..." he explained, moving closer to Heartman, sitting himself down next to the other man.

"May I touch?" He asked, quiet and hopeful. He'd touched Heartman before, held him while they slept or talked, but never his skin. There was always a layer between them, space separating them. 

He'd put far too much space between them and couldn't stand it. He wanted to feel the way Heartman's body healed. Even if the injury was his fault. He wanted to feel his disformed heart beating under his battered ribs, still powering on despite everything.

"If you'd like," he replied softly, holding Lou so that the water could touch her skin, making her stir ever so slightly, but not enough to wake her. The warmth was good for her little body, and while Heartman had been able to get her relatively cleaned off, the hot spring would do the job far better.

"I must admit - it feels so odd to be quite so exposed, after you've been gone so long..." he murmured, not meaning anything bad by his words, just that it was actually a strange feeling to be so exposed as he was.

He never left his lab after Fragile had dropped him off. Hardly even went to the kitchen unless it became absolutely necessary. The idea of entering his bedroom without Sam was...

He didn't go.  
He spent all his time in his padded lab.

Sam laughed quietly, nodding and moving slowly, carefully. "We're on even terms though. I'm just as exposed." He admitted, watching the way the water lapped at his body.

"When I first came to your lab you suggested a shared bath. Couldn't wait to see me strip down, could you?" He teased lightly, not touching just yet. He was remembering the way he'd looked at Heartman, judging him for his soft, perfect, pale, unflawed skin. He had a body that lived a comfortable life indoors, slim but still soft. Now he was all bones stretching skin. He wished for anything that he could get that soft luxury back. 

"I think you might be more attractive now though." He teased lightly, finally connecting the backs of his fingers to feel along his ribs.

Heartman's cheeks felt warm as he rolled his eyes. "That bath did wonders for you and you know it. You slept so well that night, that the only thing that woke you was Die-Hardman pestering over the loud system," he huffed, though his breath and his voice hitched slightly when Sam's fingers finally came in contact with his skin.

He felt like a fool, touch starved and wanting nothing more than to feel Sam's hands all over his sore body.

"You find me more attractive now that I'm a mess?" He asked, his voice trembling slightly as he huffed a laugh. "You're such an odd man, Sam," he added fondly.

His own eyes scanned over the bare skin that he could see, the handprints burned into Sam's tanned skin, the new wounds scattered across his shoulders and back.  
"...you are absolutely amazing..."

"Hey, come on now. Glass houses and all that. And you're the only fool with enough hubris to live mostly above ground in your glass house these days." Sam teased, keeping his touches slow and light. 

He wasn't hoping for anything further than a connection. Just light intimacy and the reassurance that Heartman really was here in front of him. 

"You look stronger, like you've lived through something now. I can't wait to help you live a life where you go soft around the edges again, but for now, you look like you've survived." He explained, pulling his hands away and holding them out to take Lou. 

"Go ahead, I'll let you have a turn." He offered, seeing the way Heartman was looking him over with curiosity. Usually the prints brought looks of pity, not interest. He was willing to indulge Heartman.

"That's because this time I did survive, despite rather not wanting to," he admitted quietly as he handed Lou over to Sam, eager to be able to touch Sam, explore those marks on his skin.

**2 minutes until cardiac arrest. Please proceed to a safe location.**

He groaned softly, throwing his head back as he huffed out a breath, leaving a puffy cloud on the air.

"You're going to get really tired of this, rather quickly, since you'll be spending more consecutive time with me..." he murmured, reaching out to gently caress Sam's jaw, searching his face for any sign of hesitation, any sign that he was already sick of this.

He wouldn't blame him.

Sam watched him with a soft smile. "Get out of the water before you kill us all." He teased lightly. "Then you'll have 21 minutes to do what you'd like." He reminded gently. 

"Like you said, I'll get used to fitting our life into 21 minute intervals. If you can do it, I can at least try." He shrugged, helping him out and covering him with one of the towels that was set to the side. 

He should see if he can't have one of the preppers make him a soft robe for Heartman to wear. At least most of them hated the UCA enough not to turn him in. 

"We'll be right here when you get back."

He laid back on the warm rock that blissfully surrounded the edge of the hot spring, closing his eyes.

"Better not go off into the mountains while I'm gone. Don't care how long it would take, I'd hunt you down," he huffed, flatlining as soon as the last breath of the sentence left his lips.

_Back on the Beach, everything was quiet and lonely. He didn't enjoy coming to the Beach as much as he once had, possibly because he stopped traveling to other Beaches to search for people he would never find there._

_He walked as far as he could in one direction before waking up, gasping and coughing in the thin, cold mountain air._

"21 minutes," he breathed, carefully unwrapping himself from the towel to step back into the water, sinking in and instantly resting a hand against Sam's chest.

Sam jumped at the contact, laughing at his own suprise and Heartman's quick hands. "Eager." He commented playfully, letting Lou float safely in the water, balanced in his palm. 

He let him touch, watching his hand against his own skin, slowly accepting that it still didn't hurt. "I haven't enjoyed anyone's touch before. I could tolerate it sometimes, but it made me panic." He admitted, relaxing his shoulders with a heavy sigh. "Any time I've been touched before wasn't my choice."

"I'm sorry, Sam..." he whispered softly, enthralled with the way Sam's skin felt. The handprints burned into Sam's skin felt cool to the touch, despite the skin surrounding them holding warmth.

"Curious," he whispered, brushing his fingers along other handprints, all holding the same sort of temperature difference. He traced one of the prints on Sam's chest, his fingers tingling from the odd mix temperature.

"I should have asked, before touching, and I'm sorry. I was just-" he shook his head, scooting a bit closer to Sam, hesitating to put his other hand against Sam, meeting his eyes in silent question.

Their eyes met and Sam nodded in agreement, allowing Heartman permission to touch. "Go on. It feels nice." He hummed, letting the other man do as he liked. He let his eyes slide shut with a soft sigh, listening to the sound of Heartman's breathing, a little faster than normal but still relaxing.

Pressing his other hand to Sam's chest, he brushed gentle fingers gingerly against wounds like looked fresh, and hand prints that made him shiver.

"Do you feel the temperature difference yourself?" He asked curiously, seemingly always asking questions. His mind was always abuzz, never not working on some problem or formulating some question or another.  
Currently, in the background of processing and enjoying being able to touch Sam this way, he was thinking about what components to put into fabricated baby formula.

Sam sighed, leaning into his touch, gentle hands soothing the muscle under his skin. He shook his head. 

"Not anymore I can't. I've gotten used to it. BTs have different temperatures, so when they grab you hard enough, they can sometimes leave a mark and some of their energy lingers behind if I die while they're holding me." He explained, watching Heartmans hands wander across his chest.

He looked over at Lou, seeing she was laying on her back, resting in his hand, curled up, still sucking her thumb and watching them with big curious eyes.

"...so the handprints are the number of times you've died while a BT had a hold of you...?" he asked quietly, a sort of tremor in his voice.

Sure, he had died plenty of times himself. He was up to 222,192 to be accurate, but thinking about Sam dying, suffering like that... It made his blood run cold.

"Only one of us is allowed to be dying that many times from now on, and it's only because I can't fix that," he said, putting on a stern voice, like the change in his voice would really be enough to keep Sam safe.

Sam laughed, looking him over with interest. "You didn't know that?" His eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "I thought you were the little know-it-all scientist that lives in the mountain!" He teased, expecting to get a smack and flinching already.

"Not every print is a time I've died. Sometimes they hold on in groups. I've been shot a few times, by terrorists and myself, fallen off heights, drugged, strangled, drowned, electrocuted, you name it. I think death by BT is the most peaceful way I've died. It's the fear that sets in that makes it so bad." He explained, knowing the people who died from a BT encounter and lived were a terribly small number. 

"Still causes a void out though. Most of mine happened before the actual Stranding. Well, at least before the attacks."

He didn't like it. Didn't like hearing all the ways Sam had suffered and died. His eyes watered a bit and he quickly turned away, lightly smacking Sam's shoulder, where no fresh wounds were present.

"I don't know everything... I just try to understand it all. I ask questions, I do my own research... it doesn't mean I'm all knowledgable. ...no one else is like you, Sam. Repatriates are rare as it is, and the only other one I know does not carry handprints around on their body," he turned back to look at Sam cautiously, then looked down to Lou, the sadness and worry melting from his face, replaced with a smile.

"Hello little lady. Awake from your nap, are you?"

Sam watched Heartman's eyes, a little shocked to see actual sadness when he'd talked about the ways he'd died. He figured the man would be comfortable speaking of it, seeing as it frequently happened to him. Perhaps he wasn't as accustomed to it as he claimed. 

"Aw, I thought knowing everything was part of your appeal." He teased, wrapping his arms around Heartman and letting Lou float in the water on her own. 

The little lady in question popped her thumb out of her mouth, giving him a thumbs up before turning and lapping around excitedly. She was eager to be back in the water, an environment she was confident in.

Heartman smiled at their little lady, leaning into Sam instinctively. "Suppose I'll have to work harder at knowing everything so I'll be appealing to you," he hummed softly, giving Lou a thumbs up in return as he watched her swim around with ease.

Tiny little infant, but could swim like she was part fish.  
He wished he could keep documentation of this, the whole thing completely fascinating.  
Did all BB's carry the potential to live and thrive as Lou did? Was Lou special on her own merit, or was it something to do with her connection with Sam?  
There was no denying that Sam was special, that he was different.  
It wouldn't be a stretch to say that, because of his being connected to her as he had been for so long, gave her life that other BB's never experienced.

...or maybe it was just because, for once, someone treated a BB as an infant in a pod, instead of just another piece of their equipment....

"I know you said that you'd be the wife, but I'm the mom." Sam teased lightly watching her and resting his head on Heartman's shoulder. 

"I did carry her, for longer than 8 months mind you. My back was killing me all the time too. But that probably had more to do with the ass loads of cargo." He complained lightly, holding no real disdain for his work. 

"I'm glad you're willing to care for her. I know we're not what you've had before, but... we can be a family, Heartman. I know we can make it work."

"Willing to care for her? I think you mean thrilled to do so," he retorted, gently elbowing Sam before resting his head on his partner's head.

"I can be wife while you're mom, that's fine. But she definitely knows you by daddy," he hummed, watching her splash the water, giggling happily.

He would have to figure out a way to have a pool or something for her to swim in at home, so they weren't constantly coming out here to the springs.

"I'm still... ouchy, that you left and said nothing to me, and I probably will be for a little while yet, and paranoid, and worried... but you and that beautiful little lady are my family. My life, now. My reason for coming back from the Beach."

"Maybe someday you'll know me by daddy?" Sam smirked, waiting for that boney elbow to connect hard to his ribs. 

He hummed, watching her swim about, not commenting on Heartman looking forward to the 21 minutes again. He used to only live for those 3 minutes on the Beach. 

Sam knew not to push his luck and ask questions he knew would hurt. But for now he could be content with his new husband-wife and their daughter.

Heartman's cheeks burned and he did, indeed, jab his elbow to Sam's ribs, but far more gently than the other man probably assumed he would.

"Wait for the bedroom for that, would you?" He huffed, his own sort of tease as he looked to Sam, his pupils dilated.  
Wouldn't do for them to start getting hot and bothered out here, especially since Lou was here with them.

"We should head back, soon. After I come back from the Beach, though. If we went now, you'd be carrying me _and_ Lou," he hummed after a few moments of comfortable silence.  
He wanted to feed Sam and Lou, and then check out Sam's wounds.

Sam nodded, pressing a bold kiss to the side of Heartman's neck. He wouldn't push for intimacy. He'd be happy if this was as far as their physical intimacy went in their relationship. 

And he knew Heartman would never force him to do anything he didn't want, but he seemed the man who craved sexual intimacy. Sam knew he could trust him to be polite about stopping if it got to be too much. And he would honestly give Heartman anything he asked for.

"Come back quick." He smiled, helping him back to the edge of the water. He moved to the side of the spring, wrapping himself in his towel before pulling Lou out of the water, keeping her out of the cold until the last possible moment. 

He wasn't putting his nasty clothes back on. He'd make his trip back in his towel.

A warmth blossomed from where Sam kissed him, and Heartman couldn't help the undeniably heated look he gave Sam before being helped out of the water.

"I'll always come back to you, as quickly as I can," he replied carefully, closing his eyes as he listened to the countdown and then-

_________

_It was harder and harder each time now. He didn't want to leave Sam, or Lou, but he couldn't keep himself from dying. He'd done quite a bit of research in his 21 minutes when he started to actually live in his 21 minutes.  
There was so much damage to his heart, now, that there was no way he could survive a normal sort of life. He was stuck this way, in this endless loop of dying for 3 minutes and being alive for 21._

_The Beach no longer held his interest as it once did, especially when he had Sam waiting for him just the other end._

"Ready to head back, then?" He asked, split seconds after coming back.

Sam smiled and nodded, holding Lou against him and nodding. He offered his hand out to Heartman to help him up. 

He helped him back into the house, shivering and shaking as he got into the warmth of the lab again. "Fuck dude... I think my dick froze off." He groaned, moving closer to stand to the inner door where it was warmer. 

Lou laughed at Sam's complaining. "I think I need to burn those clothes."

"I can take care of that," Heartman hummed, quirking a brow at Sam. "And watch your language, would you. Lou's not in a watery pod anymore that makes your swear words burbled," he huffed, thinking of quite a few retorts or actions he could take to help make sure Sam's dick had indeed, not, frozen off.

"...but I could check for you, if you'd like for me to," he settled on something careful.

"Check for me?" Sam blushed, looking at him in shock. "And weren't you the one telling me to watch it and wait for the bedroom?" He spluttered out, easily embarrassed.

Heartman shrugged, grinning with a sparkle in his eyes. "What can I say- I couldn't help myself in this case," he hummed, letting his eyes roam over Sam' body momentarily before heading off to the kitchen.

"Spare clothes in the bedroom. Leave your dirty ones out there and I'll burn em for you, if that's really what you want done with them."

Sam suddenly felt assessed and weighed out and he wasn't sure if he'd passed judgement or not. He made his way to the room, pulling on the clothes that were in there for him. 

"Did you print these for me?" He asked, coming out wearing them. He had Lou wrapped tightly in one if the tshirts he'd found. 

"And yes, burn them. They're smelly and dirty and I'd toss them into the tar lakes if I could."

"I did, yes," Heartman hummed as he moved about the kitchen, looking more alive than he had when Sam had first showed up on his doorstep - this time around, and also the 2 and a half months ago.  
"I'll have to have something made for Lou," he added, mostly as an aside to himself as he busied himself with making food.

"Do they fit alright?" He asked, glancing towards Sam and getting his answer even before words passed Sam's lips.

"You had clothes made for me? You knew I'd be back..." Sam smiled to himself, sitting down at the table. 

The clothes were comfortable, but obviously more a style Heartman would like to see rather than something Sam would have picked. "They're great, thank you."

He watched him fuss around in the kitchen, getting his back and taking out a few of those cryptobiotes. He let them wiggle around in the air above Lou, listening to her laugh excitedly.

"I... hoped you would come back, yes. I haven't been in that bedroom since the last you were here, though. I couldn't being myself to be there alone," he replied carefully, putting a lid on his pots to let their food simmer.

"Going to go with the cryptobiotes for now? I can make her something warm, too."

"Its what she's used to. And maybe we can get her to eat and get some rest so we can be alone." Sam shrugged, letting them wiggle in the air watching her reach for them. He snatched them out of the air with his mouth, watching her scream in excitement, laughing hysterically.

He chewed them up real fine, lifting her up and feeding her mouth to mouth.

Heartman chuckled, shaking his head. "Mama bird-ing it, then. I was going to ask, but thought it better just to watch and wait," he hummed, a brow raised.

"I'll work on making food for her, so you don't always have to do that," he added, pushing himself from the table to finish their food, putting a bit of the potatoes and mixed veggies into a food processor to mash them really finely together.

"Can see if she'll try this. Nice warm food, healthy stuff, too," he murmured, plating up food for himself and Sam as well.

**10 minutes until cardiac arrest.**


	6. Confessions and New Adventures

Sam felt his heart swell, watching Heartman make the food for Lou. "Looks like the shit they give you at the distro centers." He laughed, looking it over with distaste. 

"She'll give it a try. And I've heard it was good for their immune system to give them food birdie style." He shrugged, looking her over, lovingly as he fed her. 

"You can have a turn at it if you'd like." He offered, handing her over. This time he didn't hold back his manners, first food he'd eaten in a long time and so he pretty much shoveled it into his face. 

He also ate whatever was left over that Lou didn't eat of her food. He hadn't realized it but he'd been starving.

Heartman held Lou, carefully feeding her, though not birdie style. "Do you want some more?" He asked, raising a brow a bit as he watched Sam shovel his food down, clearly starving.  
"I did make a bit more."  
Sure, it was meant to be for him, but he could make himself something else. Sam was very obviously still in need of that extra food.

"There we are little lady... Is that food good?" He asked quietly as he fed Lou, the little one happily eating the hot food that wasn't icky cryptobiotes. Eating those things was fun, and exciting because Sam made it those things, but Heartman made this food especially for her and it was so yummy!

Sam eyed the food with interest, the pain in his stomach hadn't even been noticable when he had other needs. Other things that hurt more and were more important. 

"No. I don't want to make myself sick. And I want to see you eat." He asked, watching him feed Lou. He was surprised with how much such a small baby could eat. "I can always snack later." He shrugged.

He watched his new partner and their child, wondering how he'd gotten so lucky. He started to drift in and out, day dreaming about crawling into bed with Heartman and just holding him, cuddling and talking about their future, sharing lazy kisses. He smiled sleepily, leaning against the table, cheeks a bit pink.

The man continued his gentle encouraging cooing at Lou, until it was clear that she wouldn't or couldn't eat anymore. He rocked her gently but froze as he looked at Sam, and the way the other man was looking at him with that warmth in his cheeks.

"...Sam?" He murmured quietly, tilting his head a little. "I think I could probably get Lou down for a nap, if you...er... if you want to go lay down, too?" He asked, his own cheeks going warm.

Sharing the bed again would be rather nice, even if it was just so he could keep an eye on Sam while the other man got some well deserved rest.

Sam watched them both again, watching Lou slid into sleep. "Think she could fit in a bowl? We could use that as a crib until I have the chance to build one." He suggested, not really wanting Lou on the bed while he slept. 

He knew he could handle the shocks from the AED, but she probably couldn't.

Heartman chuckled, nodding. "Yes, I'm sure she could fit in a bowl. You're in luck, I might even have a nice big one that she can sleep in," he hummed, getting up from the table with the little one in his arms as he searched the cabinets for a big bowl. Finding one, he pulled it out and set her into it, chuckling.

"I'll just make a little nest of it for her. Use some spare shirts and whatnot, or wrap her up in a blanket so she's nice and snug in there."

Sam grinned, watching Heartman fuss over their tiny baby. "You're such a good dad." He hummed, watching him. He knew the man had experience, but that meant nothing. 

"Take me to bed?" Sam asked, feeling the nerves rise up in his chest. He had to prove to Heartman he was here and here to stay. And now that he knew he could cuddle with him, touch without it hurting, he knew he'd be needy. 

Before long the other man would be asking him to make deliveries just to get him off him.

The other man's cheeks warmed a bright red as he cleared his throat, swaddling Lou to put her back in the bowl, carrying it at his hip.

"Well, come along then," he hummed softly, reaching his hand out for Sam to take so he could lead them both to the bedroom, where Heartman carefully set Lou's bowl near the bed so she would be close by, but not in the bed, so they would run the risk of hurting her.

"It's been a while since we have been on this bed..."

"And if I have it my way, itll be a while before you leave it." Sam teased, climbing into the bed and pulling his shirt off. 

He settled in, waiting for Heartman to get comfortable too. "Thank you for letting me come home... I haven't had one of those in years."

The man's cheeks warmed again, a smile touch his lips as he climbed into bed beside Sam.  
"Welcome home," he murmured softly, curling against his Sam, a soft smirk on his lips. "Pull something like that again and you'll be finding somewhere else to sleep, though. And trust me when I say you wouldn't like having to sleep somewhere else."

Sam laughed, pulling Heartman to him, being careful of the device and the wires, wrapping his arms around him. "I'm sure you could turn my life into a living hell." He hummed, rubbing his cheek to the back of Heartman's neck. 

"Anything you want is yours. I promise that. I'm going to do everything I can to make you forget I ever did that to you."

Curled against Sam, Heartman let his eyes close as he hummed, smirking softly. "I could do, but I won't. Not unless you severely fuck things up again. Not unless you break my heart," he nuzzled against Sam, turning so he could softly press a kiss to his jaw.

"I just want you, Sam. I just want you, here, and to not leave me again without saying something, without promising me, telling me that you'll come home..."

"I know I'm going to leave. I know I'm going to go out and I'll still need to do something. I can't just sit." Sam sighed, running his fingers along Heartman's shoulders, up to his neck. 

"But I promise I will always come home. Your heart's broken enough. I'm gonna take good care of it. Handled with care." He teased, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

The gentle way Sam touched him sent shivers through his body, the little hairs on the back of his neck prickling, his eyes closing when Sam's lips pressed to his forehead. It felt so good to have him home, to have him call this place his home, willingly.

"I don't expect you to stay cooped up like I do; that's no life for you. You are a man of action, too restless to stay within these walls constantly. I know you need to be free to move around, to do something and to be outdoors. I know that, I'm no fool. I just...I need to know that you'll always come back, no matter what happens. That you won't just go off and leave without a word again," he breathed, a tremble to his voice as he pressed himself against Sam, needing to be close and to feel him against as much of his body as he could manage.

"I _am_ fragile cargo after-all. Something that's been broken before and can't survive being broken again," he teased softly, though his words were genuine.

Fragile may not be that fragile, but Heartman was. He had lost his family once, searched for 10 years for them and instead found a new family, then proceeded to lose that one. Or, thought he lost it.

His heart simply couldn't take another hit like that.

Sam curled around Heartman, pressing himself against him as much as he could and whatever his device would allow. 

"You'll be here. That's promise enough that I'll come back. You and Lou, you're my family. I've never had a functioning one of those, but I've heard good things." He hummed, reaching up to cup the man's cheek. He looked into his eyes, worry and a deep, long lasting sadness settled in them. 

He hoped to see that fade in the coming years. 

"And I'd like to take Lou out with me when she gets older. I think she needs to have the skills to survive. But I hope she takes after you." He whispered against his neck, just content in feeling the other man against him. 

He brought his hand up to his chest, feeling his irregular heart, pumping away after everything. "As long as you're here, I will always come back to you. No matter where I go or how long I'm gone."

"I do not want her to live like I do... I wouldn't want to put anyone through that," he murmured, resting against Sam and feeling, for the first time in so long, actually peaceful. "But I think taking her along with you when she's older is a good idea - she deserves to go out and see the world that she helped to save," he chuckled lightly, running his fingers through Sam's messy hair.

"I'll figure a way for myself not to worry so much about you coming home... maybe a communication device that doesn't connect to the chiral network, but just connects between the two halves - your half and my half," he added absently, already pondering up his next big project.

Delivering things and worrying about the outside world was Sam's thing, research and worrying about their small world was Heartman's, he'd decided.

Sam smiled, sleepily leaning into his touch. "I want her to be smart, like you. I want her to go on and on about shit I don't understand. I want to listen to you both talk to each other and not have a clue what you're saying." He laughed, knowing that was already almost true about Heartman. He could listen, but the man talked so fast in his limited time and didn't take the time much to dumb things down. 

"Maybe we can take you with sometimes. Small trips out and about, just so you don't have to worry." He suggested, letting his eyes slip shut and day dreaming about it.

"Hmm...that might be nice. It's been a long time since I've been out in the world, besides going to the hot spring," he hummed, still absently carding his fingers through Sam's hair, feeling the other man relax against him, slip into an almost sleep state.

"I'll teach her whatever she would like to know, and try teaching her things I'm excited about, too. But, I won't force knowledge on her that isn't wanted or important in any way," he murmured, thinking about all the crap he'd tried to teach Sam, or Die-Hardman, or even Mama, but either they didn't get it, didn't want to, or he didn't have enough time to get everything explained well enough.

"Everything you do is important." Sam hummed, his words slurring in his state of sleep. "You're the most intelligent person in the world, you know. Even if your reports are long and look like you died at the keyboard sometimes." He grinned, finally slipping into the world of his dreams. 

He knew Heartman would follow him here too. Knew the man would soon take up every aspect of his life. Waking, resting, and even his deaths.

Heartman chuckled quietly, holding Sam close to himself, kissing his forehead.  
"I'm sure I've died at my keyboard more than once, and I'm sure there will be more instances of that," he murmured, knowing Sam would be too far gone to truly hear and acknowledge what he was saying, but saying it anyway to have the thought out there in the space between them.

"You're probably the only person who has read them all, my biggest fan," he teased softly, still playing with Sam's hair as his alert told him he had 2 minutes until he would be on the Beach again.

Sam woke in the morning, listening to the quiet buzz that signified Heartman was flatlined. He looked at the countdown on the display, telling him he only had to wait a few more minutes. 

He hummed, cradling Heartman against him, pressing a kiss to his forehead, giving him enough room if he was jolted and sat up. He could hear Lou fussing in the crib he'd made her, having returned a few days ago and immediately getting to work making Heartman's lab their new home. 

He figured that if he'd put some effort in, added some elements of himself into the other man's living space, he'd trust that this was his home too. That he'd return and keep coming home. That this was where their family lived. 

When he was brought back, Sam pressed a few kisses to his forehead. "Good morning. Did you get any sleep last night?" He asked hopefully, knowing the shocks tended to wake him up if he'd been sleeping. 

He figured Heartman would soon return to the schedule of doing research well into the night even as Sam and Lou slept.

He took his first breath in the world again, shaking his head as he leaned into Sam. "Not really, but it seems like you slept well?" He chuckled lightly, bumping their noses together. "Slept right through Lou waking up middle of the night. She was crying when I came back from one of my visits to the Beach and you were still knocked out cold," he teased lightly, pushing himself up so he could get Lou from the crib.

This place was starting to feel more like a home should feel, a home with a family. Sam and Lou both had clothes now, stored away with Heartman's other clothes. There was spare food for Lou in the fridge, and Heartman had come up with a formula that she seemed to enjoy. He had, of course, gone ahead and shared that with the chiral network, with specific permissions added to it so that someone like Deadman or Die-Hardman couldn't open it, but families that were trying for children, could.

Even his lab wasn't completely void of proof that he wasn't alone. There was a little area set up with some toys for Lou so she could be close to Heartman while Sam was out, or doing something in his own separate area of the house.

When Sam would leave, there was always still that slight fear in Heartman's heart, that he wouldn't come back... but thus far, he had always returned. Always come home when Heartman called, or even without his call, at times.  
They ate supper together as a family, and often were even able to have breakfast all together.

Slowly but surely, piece by piece, Heartman was beginning to believe this wasn't temporary.

He sat up, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Sorry... I guess I've spent enough time with the dead to sleep like 'em. I'll get better at the whole husband thing, I promise." He smiled sweetly, watching the way Heartman cradled and bounced Lou bringing her back into the bed with them.

Sam loved his morning cuddles. And his night cuddles. And when he can back from somewhere, or they were watching something, or Heartman was simply lonely while doing his research. The man was incredibly affectionate and physical. 

He felt terrible that he kept denying him any sexual contact. Truth be told, it wasn't that he wasn't interested, it was that he hadn't had positive experiences in the past. And while Heartman didn't seem to mind much, Sam knew what it would mean to him. 

He'd give his husband his soul, already had. But the man was finally getting a taste of living in his body again and wanted to use it. He couldn't blame him, and as he'd told him many times, it was a fantastic body. But he knew it had to be taking a toll on the other man.

There was still so much left unsaid between them.

"You know I don't mind. Sleep has never been easy for me as it is," he hummed, sitting up against the back of the bed, resting Lou in between his legs, her tiny little feet against his legs. "Our little lady just had a bit of a nightmare, isn't that right?" He hummed, tickling the little baby's tummy gently. "I got up with her and fed her, and we chattered a little bit until she was falling asleep in my arms," he chuckled, leaning to the side to be close to Sam.

Having not been around other people for so long had been fine, because he didn't think about it since there weren't people close, anyway, and he couldn't exactly travel. He had been preoccupied by his search and research of the Beach anyway, that he barely noticed that he was alone.

Now, having Sam around so often, having Lou around all the time, Heartman found he couldn't get enough of being close to the both of the, or one or the other. When he wasn't within reach of either of them, he felt alone. Sometimes, he could still get passed that, could put himself back in the space of being alone all the time and not _needing_ anyone else around.

Sam still shied from touch at times, but he was far more accepting of it than when they had first met one another, and Sam wouldn't even accept a handshake.  
They both had come such a long way, with their respective troubles, but there were still miles ahead to traverse together, to figure out together.

"I prefer you get whatever sleep you need, anyway. You actually need it."

Sam laughed settling down on the bed and resting his head on Heartman's thigh to nibble at Lou's feet playfully. He loved these moments, feeling like Lou had a chance in whatever was coming next. 

It felt normal again. Felt like he could have something of his own to share. "Ah, all I do is wander around out in the mountains." He looked up at him, wondering what he was thinking about. Or at least what the top ten was at the moment. 

"What's the plan for today then? I have a delivery to make and some things I need to go pick up but that'll only take me a couple hours, then I think I'll stay put and hidden for when your Bridges guys come deliver your food. I'm sure they expect you to have put on some weight." He teased, poking at Lou's belly before doing the same to Heartman. 

"At least someone is looking a little round. I think she's gained 10 pounds since we've gotten here." He hummed happily, glad to see his baby growing and his husband spoiling the hell out of her.

"S'what happens when you feed a growing little lady something more sustainable than mushed up crytobiotes," he teased in return, smirking lightly as he moved one hand to card through Sam's hair.

"I don't let any of them into the lab. They make their deliveries out there at the terminal. Only you got special permission to step foot into my lab," he hummed, tilting his head a bit, getting that thoughtful look on his face as he did when he was trying to figure something out.

"Might do some minor adjustments to our personal communication devices, since you're going out we could test them again," his hands paused in their movements, one just resting in Sam's hair, the other on Lou's leg. "I have a couple requests from Lockne and Deadman to trudge through... but otherwise I think I'll be teaching Lou about the world before the Stranding. Just minor things. Show her some pictures, play with her new toys from the nice couple down the mountain a ways."

Sam loved playing with the toys. He liked the less educational ones, but they were all fun. And he'd been caught playing with them even after Lou had fallen asleep more than once.

"She's going to be talking before she can even crawl. I think she'll take after you in no time." He hummed looking up at him, wishing nothing existed outside of the lab. Just them. 

"I want to test them. I'll be going down near the city if you need me to pick anything up. Can't go in, but you might be able to get someone to bring things out." He suggested, knowing Lockne wouldn't say a word about seeing Sam.

"I'm going to be borrowing a bike from someone. Make my trip quicker, so I'm not worried if I gotta carry anything extra."

"I'll message Lockne. See if she can send along some different foods I can try for Lou, and for you. Otherwise, I can't think of anything that I actually need..." he brought a hand to his chin, tapping it absently before shaking his head. "No, just that, and that's only if Lockne or Mama can think of anything they could suggest that might be good for her," he smiled at Sam, that worried look a little bit more distant in his eyes, but still there, still haunting.

"I'll make sure you get your half of the device before you leave. Do you mind making food for you and Lou this morning? I want to get those last adjustments made before I send you out there with our new toy," he hummed, scooping up the little baby, holding her close to him in a hug before kissing her forehead.

"Daddy is going to get your food this morning, my little lady. That okay with you?"

Sam laughed watching her fuss and start to pout, understanding what was being said to her. "Why does she hate my food so much? I think you give her sugar or something. Kid, it's the same food, I'm just the one putting it in your mouth." He huffed, putting up an act of annoyance. 

"You have two of us and I know you have a favorite, but remember who was the one carrying you around all over the place. Did all that mean nothing to you?" He asked, pretending to be upset. 

He knew she just liked the sound of Heartman's voice more, couldn't blame her. 

He held his hands out to her, taking her from him. "Come on, dad has to work. You have to come to me. You'll get your alone time with him, I promise."

Grinning and laughing softly, Heartman gave his little lady a thumbs up, which she mirrored with a giggle before reaching out to Sam, willingly.

The grin that touched Heartman's lips lit up his eyes as he pulled Sam into a soft kiss. "Play nice," he teased, pushing himself from the bed and making his way through the kitchen to his lab.

Just as he made it to the padded floor, he collapsed, having forgotten that he had muted his alerts last night while tending to Lou.

_Waking up on the Beach, Heartman sighed, picking himself up and making his way to Sam's Beach. It was his favorite place to go, when he had to be here._

_'Funny how this has become the chore and being in the world with you is the part I look forward to,' he hummed, speaking to Sam's Beach as if it were the man himself, as if Sam would somehow hear him, because he was here._

Sam brought Lou into the kitchen, warming their food on the stove. He sang to her, the same song he'd remembered his father singing while he was in his pod.

He finished their food, feeding her at the kitchen table while he ate as well. Once she was fed and full, he picked her up, bouncing her to be burped while he fixed Heartman's breakfast. 

He usually went with toast and tea in the morning. The toast could be enjoyed even long after he'd forgotten it, distracted by his work and the tea was good for his heart. Also tasted pretty good after it had gone cold. 

He brought Lou and Heartman's breakfast into the main lab where her toys were set up. He set her down before going to the desk that Heartman had moved to after coming back. "Please eat. I'm not on any time restrictions, so I can wait to leave until you're finished." He pressed a kiss to the top of his head, setting the food down in front if him.

Heaving a sigh, Heartman looked up at Sam with something of a small pout. "I'm going to have to start going for daily walks if you keep feeding me so regularly, Sam," he huffed, completely teasing as he shoved a piece of toast between his teeth, holding it there as he finished his adjustments to the little communication device.

"Thith thould wo'k now," he spoke around his toast, leaning back in his desk chair to look up at Sam. He handed the device up to Sam, waiting for him to take it.

Sam stood, watching Heartman with so much affection. It was moments like these that he realized his partner was just as odd as he was. That he didn't put up with the gross things he did because the actions were mutual. 

He finally took the device, less of a cuff link look and more like a bracelet. He looked it over, enjoying the design of it before slipping it onto his wrist. "How do I make it work? Just like the cufflinks?" He asked looking at it on his wrist before looking to the matching one on Heartman.

"Glad you asked," he hummed, setting his toast aside, teeth marks in the bread, but no bite actually taken from the toast.

He carefully brought the wrist wearing the bracelet up to where his AED was situated and flicked it carefully. "This activates the calling out function. You have to bring it over your heart. I designed it this way so when you move, it won't register as you trying to call me constantly," he chuckled, tapping the top of the bracelet to end the call. "A tap from your fingerprint will end the call," he added, gesturing towards Sam's wrist. "And then, if I call you, just bring the bracelet up to your heart to answer. There's a few other functions, but I haven't worked the kinks out yet. I want to make sure the calling features work well enough first before adjusting everything else," he hummed, looking up at Sam with a little self satisfied grin, feeling a bit proud of himself.

"These can't be intercepted, and the information we eventually can store on them can only be accessed via our DNA signatures."

Sam looked at him in amazement. "You made this in a week? Heartman this is..." he breathed, the sentiment not at all lost on him.

"You're incredible. I mean that." He whispered, stepping closer to Heartman to push a kiss to the corner of his lips. 

He did the movement, trying the call, eyes lighting up when it went through and he'd answered. He ended the call and just looked at the device in awe. 

"Just me and you, then. Someday one for Lou? It'll be nice to hear your voice when I'm far from home again."

"Actually I..." Heartman flushed a little pink, picking up a third bracelet from a flat drawer under his main desk. "I've already made Lou's, for when she's older. When I figure out the kinks in ours, I'll adjust hers as I go, too," he smiled sheepishly, having been overeager and rather excited to work on such an interesting project again. Build something, making it his own.

"But, yes, for now it's just me and you. I picked a different call sound, so that it wouldn't worry you or bring bad memories with it," he added, having thought a few steps ahead, as he usually tried to.

Sam looked so happy, so... impressed, actually, and that made Heartman's heart soar.

"I'm so happy that you like them..." he hummed, catching Sam by the collar of his shirt, pulling him down, hesitating a moment before stealing a kiss from the man's lips.

He was always careful in making moves on Sam, always worried that he would upset the other man if he moved too quickly, or made moves with a certain sexual intention.

Sam hesitated a moment before kissing back, relaxing into it. "I love you, Heartman..." he whispered, resting his his forehead against the other man's. 

He held his breath, having wanted to say that for a few days now, terrified of being rejected. He knew it was stupid, after all these months and everything they've gone though, but now felt like the right moment to say it. 

And he realized that once he had, he wanted to say it again and again. Make sure Heartman knew he meant it. Even if he didn't say it back, Sam wanted him to know.

The man's eyes watered as he looked up at Sam, searching his face. He could feel those words, could see it written all over Sam's face and that made it difficult to keep his tears from falling down his cheeks.

"Sam... Oh, Sam, I love you too. So very much," he breathed, pushing himself up from his chair so he could properly wrap his arms around Sam's body, hold him in a rather tight hug. "I've been saying it in silent ways, hoping you'd just know... I was afraid you wouldn't want to actually hear those words and... and now, hearing them myself..." he smiled, burying his face against Sam's neck. "...thank you..."

Sam gasped at the contact, a little overwhelmed by it. He wrapped his arms around Heartman quickly before he could pull away. Always so considerate of Sam's needs and wants over his own. 

He buried his face in his short hair, breathing in the scent of him. He always smelt so strongly like fresh mountain air, the sharp tingle of chiral energy, and something so uniquely him. It was just another thing he loved about him. 

He pulled away to better look at the him, only realizing his own eyes were wet when the sight of his was hot and blurred. "I love you. You have to know that. You have to know that is the reason I will always come back. No matter what. It's because I love you."

Sam would always be making up for disappearing, and Heartman felt at least a little bad that the other man felt that way, but...

"I believe you," he whispered, cupping Sam's face carefully as he brushed away the tears that slipped down his prickly cheeks. "...and I _trust_ you, Sam, my love, I do. I trust that you'll come home to me whenever you step outside that door. That you'll come home to _us_ ," he added, glancing towards where Lou was babbling happily at one of the stuffed creatures she enjoyed laying against. It was a lion that was slightly bigger than she was.

"And I know you love me, even if I can't for the life of me, ponder out why you would love someone like me," he teased lightly, resting his hands against Sam's chest so he could feel his heart beat, be close to him in the most intimate way he could currently imagine being allowed.

In sync with his heart.

Sam took even breaths, letting his heart slow to an even pace, feeling the other man's match. "I can think of more than a few reasons." He breathed a laugh, wrapping his arms around him again, holding him in the most intimate way he'd ever experienced.

He wanted nothing more with the rest of his life but to keep coming home to this marvelous man. 

"But it's more fun if I keep my reasons to myself. They're changing and multiplying all the time anyway. We don't have enough time for me to give you a list." He chucked lightly. "Now why you love me, I see the charms, but I really don't get the reasoning."

With a smirk, Heartman lightly smacked Sam on the back of the head, shaking his head. "I certainly don't have the time to be listing off why I love you, Sam," he huffed, though his eyes sparkling with light and happiness, the warmth of his love for Sam.  
It had been slowly growing there for so long now, it was damn near a raging fire by now.

**10 minutes until cardiac arrest.**

"I suppose I should eat my toast, so you're not worrying about me while you're off being the Man that Delivers."

Sam looked him over again with a nod. "I won't be out long and I'll call when I get there. Maybe on the way back we can talk." He suggested, pressing one more kiss to his forehead before pulling away. 

"I'll have a surprise for you when I come back." He teased, knowing the other man had a love hate relationship with surprises.

"Does it have to be a surprise...?" He asked, giving Sam one of his pouty faces as he looked up at him, grabbing his toast. This time, he actually took a bite, instead of just holding the piece in his mouth.

"I mean... you could just tell me, and I could pretend to be surprised! I could make it believable," he tried, looking up at Sam with almost a plea in his gaze.

Surprises could be good, of course they could be. More often than not, however, surprises didn't turn out the way they were planned, which should really make them a double surprise.

"Or you could just tell me about it on your way home!"

"I think I'll hint at it on my way home." Sam agreed with a smile. He loved seeing his brain work like this, a little annoyed that there was something someone else knew that he didn't. 

"Guess I'd better get going then. Wouldn't want to make you wait too long." He smirked, pressing one final kiss to his lips before pulling away and going to give Lou her kisses.

Watching Sam leave was always difficult for Heartman. He'd watched Sam leave from Die-Hardman's speech, too, and had thought about following after him but hadn't.

Everytime Sam walked out that door, Heartman wanted to chase after him, convince him to stay and never leave... but he knew that would never happen. Sam would go stir crazy, trapped up in this place. So he knew he had to let him go...

"Be careful, but also hurry back," he hummed, turning back to his computer to close a few things before moving over to Lou, ready to spend their alone time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is gonna be fuuuuun~♡


End file.
